Efforts to make me the kind of person you could safely introduce to polite society continue apace. When I say anything
untoward, the Princess says “don’t say (insert appropriate swear word)
Mummy”. She seems to recognise the words
from the tone in which I say them and usually sheÂ’s right though the other day
she said “don’t say believe me Mummy” and I was able to reassure her that that
was entirely kosher. At breakfast with
her grandparents, while they were visiting, I was foolish enough to say “shag
it”.
“Don’t say shag it Mummy”
“What else can’t Mummy say?” asked an agent
provocateur and to my absolute horror my daughter proceeded as follows:
DonÂ’t say damn it Mummy
DonÂ’t say fuck it Mummy
DonÂ’t say feck it Mummy
DonÂ’t say God Almighty Mummy
DonÂ’t say Sweet Jesus Mummy
And was only shut up by being bundled from the
table by her mortified mother.
on 04 November 2005 at 09:56
Sweetie(s) given
on 04 November 2005 at 12:34
Sweetie(s) given
Friar Tuck
on 04 November 2005 at 18:37
on 04 November 2005 at 19:33
Sweetie(s) given
on 05 November 2005 at 07:55
Cue various adults purple-faced and weeping trying to stifle their mirth and my sister silently mouthing other obscenities at her partner – the guilty party.
Sweetie(s) given
on 05 November 2005 at 12:00
Sweetie(s) given
ladyjane
on 05 November 2005 at 15:49
on 07 November 2005 at 10:46
Sweetie(s) given
on 07 November 2005 at 14:45
Sweetie(s) given
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https://www.belgianwaffle.net/2005/11/451/
Royal visit
The royal grandparents aside from allowing their sick daughter in law to sleep also bonded with their grandchildren and brought them mountains of presents. The Princess was delighted to have them here and the boys were fed (which is really the height of their demands at the moment). I did feel mildly guilty at one stage as grandma went off to the park with her crutch, the Princess and her buggy but I’Â’m a catholic, we have strategies for dealing with guilt.
I am gratified that my parents-in-law seem to enjoy my blog (hi guys). My father in
law, the captain of industy, pointed out that I donÂ’t seem to update when we have
people staying. I said “well, I suppose that IÂ’m busy doing other things”. “Yes”, said he “I notice that you didn’Â’t blog at all while your mother was over”. “Well, that might have been because I was in the hospital after having given birth”.
on 04 November 2005 at 03:41
He’s a captain of industry! You cannot expect him to be acquainted with all the technicalities of childbirth. Anyway, don’t they have wireless laptops or something for you to use in the hospital? Seems a colossal waste of time just lying around doing nothing.
Push. Breathe. Type. Repeat.
on 04 November 2005 at 09:28
OK, check out the gentlemen’s comments. May you both be reincarnated as mothers of twins. 
on 05 November 2005 at 07:46
But there is a great power there that can bring balance to The Force
Pog, now look what you’ve started. Jack, stop it.
Sorry waffley – I should’ve known … Tch. Boys.
Indeed you should, I hope that there will be no more in this vein from the lads but I sincerely doubt it.
Sick
All last week I had a sore throat but Friday to Tuesday it got really miserable and I couldnÂ’t swallow. Mercifully, the parents-in-law were here to baby mind and I was able to nap during the day but I hadnÂ’t really expected to spend most of their stay languishing in bed. Nights were particularly miserable and, at least once every night, I found myself standing at the microwave (heating a bottle), weeping (the pain, the exhaustion) and drooling (the inability to swallow) and hearing the boys wailing in the background. All is much better now though, however, if you subscribe to any religion please beg your gods to ensure that it is not passed on to any of my many children.
Incidentally, I stocked up on a number of over the counter remedies to try to address my symptoms, most of which were useless but especially useless was a throat spray rejoicing in the name of “Neogolaseptine®”. You can see, of course, why they decided on this as a registered trademark. It’s a name to conjure with really. In my mind’s
eye, I see them all brainstorming “what kind of name can we use which will inspire consumers with confidence, give them a clear idea what the product does and stick in their memories?” They must all have been delighted when they came up with Neogolaseptine.
on 03 November 2005 at 15:25
Poor Waffly. All sympathies. I’m revoltingly throaty and snotty too. But I don’t have three small children. Did I mention that you get all the sympathy?
on 03 November 2005 at 15:31
Ouch! poor you- that sounds truly miserable. Not to mention the Neogolaseptine… 2
Sweetie(s) given
on 03 November 2005 at 19:13
Thanks be that you’re back. I was afraid you were ill, after all that regular posting, and then NOTHING. Either that or that you had hired yet more help and were on a marathon bout of shoe shopping. Feel better!
on 03 November 2005 at 21:27
Lauren, like my daughter, I occasionally have difficulties stringing English sentences together.
Norah, you are kind and good. As are you Minks.
Kristin, I am touched by your concern and much better.
neogola sounds like near-goal, like they were watching a footie match and it came to them what to call it.
Really, that’s as likely an explanation as any.
I was driving along sedately when a little
voice from the back seat piped up “Slow down Mummy”. “I’m not going fast” I said indignantly. “I’m scared” she said reproachfully. This is
what your offspring will be like if you are bossy and your spouse is cautious.
Speaking of bossy, I was singing a French
schlocky song to myself “Je viens de chanter la chanson, la chanson des gens
heureux” when Madam interrupted me “Not “la chanson” Mummy, “la ballade””. How did I end up living with two people who
are always right?
Final example of imperial bossiness: chatting to my husband at dinner last night, we
were interrupted by our daughter banging her fork on the table and saying in
loud and petulant tones “talk to ME!”.
on 27 October 2005 at 14:41
Sweetie(s) given
on 02 November 2005 at 12:45
Sweetie(s) given
on 03 November 2005 at 11:27
Minks, Bobblem what delightful children you must have been…
Sweetie(s) given
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https://www.belgianwaffle.net/2005/10/448/
You may be familiar with the Alessi range of products: attractive, expensive
and deeply impractical. I am the proud
owner of Floss Man or “interdental thread holder in light
blue” as he is known on the Alessi website (maybe not the best translation from
the Italian). For Floss Man to work you
need to thread the floss through his mouth.
ItÂ’s easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle, I assure you. Yesterday I, mother of a toddler and infant
twins spent 10 minutes threading Floss Man. There are times when I wonder whether I am
insane.
Friar Tuck
on 27 October 2005 at 16:04
on 03 November 2005 at 11:32
FT, probably better not.
Sweetie(s) given
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https://www.belgianwaffle.net/2005/10/447/
The other night, Mr. Waffle and I were sitting
in (as opposed to the evenings we are out tripping the light fantastic) and it
was bucketing rain ouside.
Me: Is there anything nicer than sitting inside
warm, dry and comfy when itÂ’s cold and wet outside?
Him (pause): Well, the entire tourism and
leisure industries are predicated on the belief that, in fact, there is.
on 26 October 2005 at 12:40
Sweetie(s) given
on 26 October 2005 at 19:31
Sweetie(s) given
on 27 October 2005 at 11:24
Sweetie(s) given
on 28 October 2005 at 23:51
Where did you find him ?
Sweetie(s) given
on 03 November 2005 at 11:27
Sweetie(s) given
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