You will be unpopular mothers-in-law also. The Irish Times says that your sons’ wives will suffer.
Vignettes from the babysitting dungeon – in case you were wondering how my sister got on last weekend
A phone call.
Me (sitting on a chair by a pond in the Tuileries): Hi, how is everything going?
Sister (in Dublin minding offspring): Not great, I am making pancakes, the smoke alarm has gone off, the children are screaming and the cat is pooing in the kitchen. How are things in Paris?
A further phone call
Me (sipping tea in a Parisian cafe): Hi, how is everything going?
Sister (at the side of the road in the car): Not great. Your daughter won’t stop saying “church in a church” and it’s driving me and the boys insane so please will you talk to her.
Daughter: Church in a church, church in a church, church in a church..
Me: What does that mean?
Daughter: Church in a church, church in a church, church in a church…
Me: Unless you stop saying that straight away, there will be no Club Penguin for a week.
Daughter: Eek.
Sister: Thank you that seems to have worked.
Motivational Speaking
Me (upstairs putting on make up): You are the leader, go and inspire your brothers to get dressed.
Her (voice penetrating from downstairs): Mummy made me the leader, you must do what I say. (Noises of protest off)
Me (loudly): Come back up here.
Her: Did you hear that?
Me: Yes I did.
Her: Rats.
Me: That’s not what a real leader does, a real leader inspires her team to follow her through her own example like Jake the Red Ranger in Power Rangers SPD.
Her: OK so.
Moments later she returns.
Me: Are the boys dressed?
Her: No.
Me: I thought you were the leader, I thought you were going to inspire the boys to get dressed.
Her: I passed on the job to Daddy.
I suppose real leaders know how to delegate too.
Not a round number
“I recollect nothing that passed this day, except Johnson’s quickness, who, when Dr. Beattie observed, as something remarkable which had happened to him, that he had chanced to see both No. 1, and No. 1000, of the hackney-coaches, the first and the last; ‘Why, Sir, (said Johnson,) there is an equal chance for one’s seeing those two numbers as any other two.’†From Boswell’s Life of Johnson
My father is fond of this anecdote. He is against numerology. All the same, he has now reached the age where people start to say “that’s a great age” so surely a cause for celebration. Happy birthday, Daddy.
What does fancy mean?
Herself asked me this question this morning. “Well, it’s an old fashioned way of saying imagination or it could mean ‘like’ as in ‘do you fancy a cake?'” “What does it mean when they say at school that everyone fancies J?” They’re SIX, six, is this normal?
I see that the Irish Times using its extensive research arm (SOURCE: The Voice of Young People – A Report on Attitudes to Sexual Health, commissioned by Pfizer Healthcare), reports on the matter thus: “Despite the introduction of the Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) programme in schools, the study found that children still learned about sex outside the classroom, mainly from friends and older siblings. Most young people surveyed were critical of the sex education offered in schools, saying it was often “too little, too late.” Well since, it appears to be needed from age 7, I’m not hugely surprised.
The organ of record continues: “The primary fear for parents appears to be that they might shock their child or ‘steal their innocence’, something they are very mindful to protect,†the report said. What innocence?
Card Sharp
Michael is very good at cards. So far he has only played memory, happy families and snap/beggar my neighbour but he has shown remarkable competence at all of them. He is capable of beating his brother and sister hollow. If he loses a trick, unlike his siblings, he is unconcerned and never leaves the table in a huff. The other day, I came in from work and he replayed for me a losing hand of beggar my neighbour explaining how he had, very unluckily, lost his jack (the most valuable card) as his sister had put a queen on top. I see a career in bridge beckoning. Next time I go to Cork, I think I will get my mother to initiate him into the mysteries of 110.
