My sister: Your blog is never updated. Your loyal followers are disappointed.
Me: Well, tomorrow is the first of November, so you know what that means.
Her: NaBloPoMo
Me: Correct, so a post every day in November.
Her: Meh. The standard of those posts can be really variable.
An Irish Education
Herself: I need an uillinntomhas.
Me: A what?
Herself: You know for measuring angles.
Me: A protractor?
Her: What?
Me: It’s the English for uillinntomhas, I think. Uillinn is an angle isn’t it?
Her: Yes.
Me: What’s tomhas.
Her: Guess.
Me: I can’t.
Her: No, guess.
Me: Really, I haven’t a clue.
Her: No, tomhas means guess.
Bonus information: Uillinn also means elbow, now you know why uilleann pipes are so called. Would you prefer if I stopped now?
Not Preaching in the Temple
One Sunday, I was running a bit late and as I was washing my teeth in the bathroom, I heard Mr. Waffle and the children depart for mass. I scooted out after them a couple of minutes later and ran into a neighbour who assured me they had only just gone around the corner. Be that as it may, they reached the church before me and as I slid into the pew, I noticed that Herself was already up with the choir at the front and Michael was sitting beside his father. “Where’s Daniel?” I asked. “Isn’t he with you?” “No.” Cue much concern. His father sprinted back to the house to find him placidly reading his book on his bed and utterly ignorant of the fact that he had been home alone, though quite briefly. It’s very easy to lose count is all I will say in our defence.
Surely Some Mistake
Her: Was Shaquille O’Neill president of France?
Me: Jacques Chirac?
Single Parenting
Last week I went to Florence for work (not at all the kind of place I normally go to for work). Saturday was the boys’ birthday. This meant that on Friday afternoon, I was in my conference in the Palazzo Vecchio admiring the beautiful ceiling in the Sala dei Cinquecento and on Saturday, I was in an indoor play centre with a dozen small children who were playing quasar with great enthusiasm. The play centre was horribly loud and deeply unpleasant (though, happily, loved by the children). It featured a pizza joint called Dante’s. Please insert your own joke here bearing in mind the Florentine angle. I’ve given you a lot to work with.
Florence was very beautiful though neck deep in tourists. The Florentines must be sick of us. I spent a month in Florence in 1988 but retained almost no memory of my time there. I certainly don’t remember it being so lovely. Nor do I remember the Florentines all pronouncing their Cs as Hs which they famously do. My favourite example of this was my taxi driver answering his phone saying, “Hlaudio, home stai?” In the late 80s and early 90s I spent a lot of time in Italy and one thing that has really changed (aside from the fact that I am now signora to everyone) is the number of people on bicycles. Florence is full of people sailing around on their bicycles and weaving through pedestrians while looking very elegant. There was no evidence of lycra but plenty of normal cycling to get from a to b. I was very taken with it.
Have some photos.
While I was off gallivanting, Mr. Waffle kept the home fires burning. Then, this week, Mr. Waffle was in Helsinki (the Waffles, we cover the continent – I might point out that my brother in law and his wife were in the South of France at the weekend and my sister-in-law and her husband were in South Carolina for the week – the extended family has essentially caused many of the polar ice cap issues).
This week was a bit tough on the boys. We visited a possible secondary school for Herself on Wednesday night and they tagged along and read their books, then on Thursday night they tagged along to choir with her. They were mildly bitter but broadly very patient and well behaved. I am kind of flattened from the sandwich making and logistics. Also, humiliatingly, on Wednesday night I got scared by a Skulduggery Pleasant short story and had to spend an hour reading Georgette Heyer before I could finally go to sleep alone in the dark about 1.30 am. Look, don’t mock the afflicted. All in all, I am very relieved to have my loving husband restored to me.
Single parents are amazing.
No
Me: I am sure you will be taller than me some day.
Daniel: You aren’t very tall, is it because you’ve reached the age where you start shrinking?