Herself: It must be so hard to be a vegan.
Me: I suppose.
Her: No caviar.
Princess
You’re in the Army Now
Herself has begun to address Mr. Waffle and me as “sir” and “ma’am”. Too much time in the American South?
Mixed Metaphor
Herself: He’s not the brightest bulb in the barrel, is he?
Too Soon?
Herself has possibly started on a life of Georgette Heyer consumption. I started her off on “Arabella” and she progressed to “The Foundling”. Are these good choices? I remember I was a little older than her when I read “The Reluctant Widow” on holidays. I was desperate for something to read and I can remember sitting around the back of the tent, near the hedge, reading away while jobs were being doled out at the front. I cannot tell you how surprised I was when the hero and heroine married. “But she hated him.”
Oh Dear
Herself: The teacher asked how many degrees there were in a circle today.
Me: Oh right, you’ve been doing the circle for a while now.
Herself: Yes, and [boy] said, ‘What size is the circle?’
Me: Did the teacher cry?
Herself: She was crying inside.
Basking in Reflected Glory
One Sunday, the Princess did a second reading, Mr. Waffle did a bit at the start of mass and all the children did prayers of the faithful. I didn’t do anything, though, as Mr. Waffle pointed out, “We’re not the ones who need practice with our public speaking.”
As Mr. Waffle was doing his bit, a neighbour in the seat behind poked me in the ribs and said, “He’d be perfect for RTE.” I assume, a compliment. The American priest said mass; we’re getting used to him. At the end, he singled out herself for particular praise, “I would like to compliment the young lady who read the second reading; it’s a difficult text and she read it beautifully.” Everybody dutifully clapped and herself was mortified, though pleased. This kind of announcement in the church is, of course, the kind of thing I normally despise but, like many another thing, it’s never so bad when you’re involved yourself.
I think I have reached the high water mark in church engagement. From here, it’s all downhill. Indeed, Michael has recently begun pumping the air when the priest says “Mass is ended” which is unwelcome.
