Daniel: Who’s Peter?
Me: You know, Peter, first pope?
Daniel: No.
Me: Thou art Peter and upon this rock I shall build my church?
Him: What?
Me: Well Peter means a rock.
Him: No it doesn’t.
Me: Look it doesn’t work so well in English, you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Mr. Waffle: Tu es Pierre, et sur cette pierre je bâtirai mon Église.
Mr. Waffle
Lord of Laundry, King of Cotton and Prince of Persil
Mr. Waffle does the laundry. He says if it were up to me, we would never have a clean stitch. I vigorously deny this. I was wearing clean clothes when I met him, wasn’t I?
Four weeks after we moved into the new house, I went to put on the washing machine and remarked, slightly shamefacedly, to herself that this was the first time I’d used it and I wasn’t quite sure how it worked. “Think of it as a small victory for feminism,” she said.
Harry Potter and the Jacobites
Mr. Waffle brought this to my attention as it combines two of our children’s favourite things:
Not Known at this Address
Mr. Waffle: Who lives at 124 Conch Street?
Me: Leopold Bloom?
Him: Nope, that was 7 Eccles Street.
Me: Someone else from “Ulysses” then?
Him: Nope.
Me: Alright who?
Him: Spongebob Squarepants.
Maybe this should be the year I read “Ulysses“.
Drill and Practice
Mr. Waffle: Do you know how brackets work, Miss?
Herself: Yes, you do the operation inside the brackets first. We did that last year.
Mr. Waffle: What is the Irish for brackets then?
Herself (coldly): Maths is a universal language.*
*Translation: I don’t know.
All You Need is Love
While I was on one of my many trips to Cork recently, my husband took my boots to the cobbler and got them re-soled. I walked home in the rain the other night with toasty dry feet. And you know that I got a Valentine’s card too? Who says romance is dead?
