Mr. Waffle

IKEA outcomes sorry outputs

9 August, 2005
Posted in: Boys, Mr. Waffle, Princess

He is building a MALM. What a man. My sister tells me that in Chicago you can order from IKEA on line and pay $100 to have everything delivered.Â Why is it America is so much better at this kind of thing?

Tomorrow we build a bed for the Princess. Our lives are just full, full, full of excitement.

Comments

on 10 August 2005 at 12:52

I’m sure we’d be reasonably impressed if we just knew what that was – sounds highly futuristic though – any relation to HAL? 0
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on 10 August 2005 at 19:34

See neither of you has spent enough time in IKEA. All the furniture is lovingly named in Swedish (except for the Billy bookcase and the Carlos desk) and you should know that the MALM is a chest of drawers. 0
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on 11 August 2005 at 10:08

I have. I have spent enough time in IKEA.
*gibbers* 0
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on 11 August 2005 at 19:22

Oh no you haven’t and we had to go back today to exchange bed pieces having picked up the wrong ones in our haste last time. Sigh. 0
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on 12 August 2005 at 10:18

Really I have. And last time I went with Conchita. Oh god. I need a stiff drink …. the horror, the horror …. 0
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on 12 August 2005 at 21:05

That is a funny thought… 0
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on 18 August 2005 at 17:15

I LOVE making up Ikea names!
John – Deer
FFart – bathrobe
bollokks – light fitting
It’s great fun. We should start a blog for it! 0
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on 31 August 2005 at 13:22

BHM – I entirely agree, though I expect my time to be somewhat limited in the future… 0
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[anonymous]

on 02 November 2005 at 23:32

P a u l B l o g t o w n 0
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A man’s work is never done

8 August, 2005
Posted in: Mr. Waffle

Mr. Waffle suggests that this might be called “bash Mr. Waffle entry” but I feel that this is harsh. Particularly since I am very grateful to him.Â Poor Mr. Waffle has taken time off work to mind the Princess as the creche is closed and I am on a strict
diet of rest and relaxation. Speaking of diet, I went into my doctor this morning feeling fine and came out diabetic and anaemic. Sigh. Lots of tablets. And no biscuits. I digress.

Anyhow, Mr. Waffle and the Princess have been bonding and he has been very virtuous. And he is exhausted and has departed early to bed.Â I on the other hand, despite my various pregnancy related ills (see previous paragraph) am full of beans because I spent the afternoon in bed and not in the
sandpit.

He found this blog recently and referred me to it for my
edification. He suggested that you, yes, you, might be interested. I was puzzled. “How did you come across this?” I asked my beloved. “Oh by googling ‘breast, immodest, women of Satan’, I think, why?”

My husband has become obsessed with Sudoku. I tried to put him off becase I had read Norah’s blog on this matter (can’t find the post, but it was terrifying) and knew that it was dangerous. Eventually, I gave in and got him The Times’s
book of Sudoku. But still all around the house I find sheets of paper with numbers and tippex marks. There is a file on this very computer called “Sudoku grid”. I explained to him that the book is meant to be filled in. “But I don’t like writing in books”. “Well, that is very laudable, my angel, but this book is designed to be written in, think of it as being like theÂ Princess’s colouring books”. “You let her colour in those? But she goes outside the lines and everything”. Sigh.

Finally, my husband is a list maniac. Everytime I move something, lists shower on me like confetti. And worse, it’s catching. I cannot now shop without a shopping list.Â And I have made a twin preparation list. And I keep ticking things on it. Seriously, can you think of anything I’ve forgotten? Yes, I appreciate this is tedious for you, but you do realise that this is all about ME.

Twin list

Bedding:
Bed for Princess? If, yes, sheets blankets etc for same. 1
extra cot or, if we don’t move Princess on to a bed, 2 extra cots.
Sleeping bags for babies More cot bedding/blankets etc.
Worth getting those Moses basket thingies? Leave P. in cot for a while and then move babies on to cots when P. moves to bed, say, at 3 mths?

Clothes:
Lots of babygrows, hats

Food:
More bottles

Entertainment:
Play pen, another bouncy chair

Transport:
Double buggy (with car seats and lying down attachments?), buggy board thing for P. to ride on, new car if 3 car seats will not fit in our Ford Focus

Other:
New wall (oh just don’t ask), book places in creche (âˆš)

on 09 August 2005 at 00:06

i am shocked and amazed at mr. waffle’s ability to plan for offspring. i know that post was all about you, and i understand that you are suffering, but i can’t tell you how rare that list-making gene is, at least when it refers to Caring for Others. And i know that of which i speak because my husband repeatedly and without shame forgets to put out a dinner plate for our version of Princess Waffle. Even when we are gathered around the table, and the wee one is wondering where hers is, he remains oblivious. This is offset by his adoration for her, but only just.

on 09 August 2005 at 06:40

1. Get loads of money from somewhere
2. Hire Nanny
3. Buy Gin
4, and etc.

on 09 August 2005 at 07:36

I’m so sorry about the biscuits. You must be devastated xx
I’ll see your list maker and raise you a pile maker. (Small piles of ‘stuff’ all over the house.)

on 09 August 2005 at 09:40

Norah beat me to it, but in my defense i was busy poking my chest and taing shirts off so did not get a chance to comment.

on 09 August 2005 at 10:30

Sorry I’m late – I was ‘totally going for it’:
‘Stand and pretend you are totally going for it in worship and lift your hands up in the air with your arms fully extended to God. Is this exposing any belly skin?’
Yes it was. Am I going to hell?

on 09 August 2005 at 13:15

I believe you are pog. At least you’ll get a decent tan.What’s wrong with Sudoku?

on 09 August 2005 at 13:55

Oh well – at least I’ll know a few people, ay?

on 09 August 2005 at 19:28

Phew – after reading your blog and the lists I’ve had to go and lie down…. my sympathies dear ms waffle… you’ve got so much to do – just keep making the lists I always find that helps!!

on 09 August 2005 at 20:15

Norah, thank you for your kind gift of a sweetie and your dire Sodoku warnings which I would have done well to have heeded.
Kristin, I know, it’s terrifying. And unnatural.
HJB, thank you for your sweetie. I was wondering whether I could apply to you for a small loan? You live in Switzerland, I know you must be rich. You will be relieved to hear that I already have gin.
Minks, ta, am devastated as you observe. Am resolutely refusing to let husband see this comment as I know he fantasises about being allowed to leave heaps of stuff round the house but is rigourously restrained.
Stroppy, are you brilliant at the Soduku thing too?
Pog, I read your blog, you are definitely going to hell. You might as well keep wearing those crop tops…
Loc, it makes people obsessive. Stay away.
Star, I dunno – thanks for sympathy, we’re nervous. And I fear that list is by no means complete.

on 10 August 2005 at 11:24

I think it’s a grand way to pass free time, especially in work. Might even go mad and buy one of those books for my upcoming hols. Mix it in with some novel reading. Though of course I’ll be normal enough to actually write in the book itself…

on 10 August 2005 at 19:34

Don’t do it, you’ll go mad, I tell you, MAD.

Weighty matters

31 July, 2005
Posted in: Boys, Mr. Waffle

Me: I bought a new dress.Â Do you like it? Try to marry truth and tact.

Him: It’s ideal for around the house.

I went for a scan during the week and tested the doctor’s scales, in the interests of everyone’s happiness, we have no weighing scales at home. For your information, the twins now weigh 1.3kgs each. This is average for a single baby at this stage. This means I am twice as large as a normal 7 month pregnant person.Â Are you scared?

Me: Do you know what I weigh now?

Him: No.

Me: 71 kilos

Him: Well, you are pregnant with twins etc.

Me: What do you weigh?

Him: You’d really rather not know.

Me: TELL ME.

Him: 72 kilos.

Princess (addressing herself to stereo which is playing musical backing to Ella Fitzgerald): Tu joues trÃ¨s bien monsieur.

Comments

on 01 August 2005 at 12:49

I could tell you how much I weigh and it would make you feel slender and positively sylph-like- but then I’d have to kill you xx 0
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on 02 August 2005 at 10:57

Mr W is brilliant – ‘it’s alright for round the house’ indeed. I can see why you married him. 0
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on 02 August 2005 at 22:19

Like Minkleberry I could do the same! I’m just seriously hoping my thyroid function is out of kilter else I have some serious dieting and exercising to do. As a pregnant mum of twins consider yourself extremely sylph like! 0
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on 03 August 2005 at 07:28

Are you anorexic? 0
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on 04 August 2005 at 12:41

Stroppy, of course there are no right answers, but he SHOULD have known that. Um, yes, pog. Minks, StarCorner, you know that I measure 163cms in my stockinged feet. I am short alas whereas I am sure that you are both tall and willowy.
Yes, HJB, I worry… 0
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on 05 August 2005 at 18:28

Belg, I love you for thinking I am tall and willowy. Sadly, I am 161 centimetres tall. I envy your extra 2- What does the world look like from up there? 0
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on 05 August 2005 at 20:20

Well, I’m 173cms and never you mind how many kilos and the ultrasound tech said today that my baby was sizewise ‘above average’ and that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, dammit. 0
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on 06 August 2005 at 12:51

Minks, you sound tall and willowy and I’m sure it’s all in the mind. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway.
KE, that sounds like an excellent excuse. With the added merit that it may even be true. 0
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Sarcastic Journalist

on 08 August 2005 at 17:13

I think that if I were you, I’d pretend that it just means I can eat THAT MUCH MORE. ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

on 08 August 2005 at 20:02

SJ, now you’re talking! 0
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Happy Anniversary

28 July, 2005
Posted in: Mr. Waffle

This day, a mere four years ago, Mr. Waffle and I were married.Â It was a beautiful day and we had a wonderful time. And then we were married. Very odd.Â It’s taken me some time to get used to the idea but, you know, I like it. Though, of course, at the time, I didn’t realise that it would entail changing my name to Waffle. And now we have a little family. Isn’t this even odder? Mr. Waffle is, obviously, the world’s best husband and father. I know this because the Princess keeps telling me “My Daddy great” and also because every time we see my mother and he leaves the room to do something she says, sotto voce, “Gosh, he’s marvellous, isn’t he?”

Of course, I know this also because I picked him out and persuaded him that it would be a good idea to marry me and I am NEVER wrong. And also he is taking me to an expensive
restaurant for lunch. And furthermore he rose with the lark this morning and took the Princess to her creche by tram
while I lay indolently in bed. And because of the thousands of little things he does to try to make my life perfect. And also the big things. And because he loves us both.

Comments

on 28 July 2005 at 13:19

My mother used to do that ‘isn’t he marvellous’ bit too – I always felt the sub-text was ‘why on earth did he marry you?’
Many felicitations to you and Mr Waffle (and the princess and the baking waffles) 2
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on 28 July 2005 at 15:24

Awww…bless. While I’m sure if our paths had crossed on Pana one day, that things would have been quite different, I’m very happy for you.
😉 1
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on 28 July 2005 at 15:38

Crikey- I can’t take real heartfelt sentiment in this condition. I’m in floods here.
Congratulations xx 0
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on 29 July 2005 at 10:44

Thanks Norah. Heather, 2 sweeties, I’m overwhelmed and also completely in agreement re mothers. But we’re just paranoid right?
Loc, well, maybe but I think when I was last living in Cork, you were about 7, so possibly not. Ta for the sweetie.
Minks, I am touched. I am also still hormonal, I weep at everything. I sympathise. 0
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on 30 July 2005 at 08:54

You left Cork when you were 3 years old?? My God, I’m shocked. 0
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on 31 July 2005 at 21:28

Well, no, but you are really young, aren’t you? Sort of 25ish or something like that? 0
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on 02 August 2005 at 10:55

Belated Happy Anniversary Missus …. 0
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on 04 August 2005 at 12:39

Ta pog. 0
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on 04 August 2005 at 22:01

Well, yes…that was sort of the point of the subtle compliment I was paying you.
Which promptly sailed right over your head.
Ah well. 0
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on 06 August 2005 at 12:47

But Loc, you’ve never, to your knowledge, seen me. Now if you had seen me walking down Pana and said to your friend, she can’t be a day over 25, THAT would be a compliment. 0
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on 08 August 2005 at 14:06

Oh please. As if a small detail like that makes a difference – I just KNOW that that’s the case. Trust me.Though incidentally, I think the first picture you used on your blog contained your good self – you shared the Princess’ wonderful locks if I remember correctly…
…and you didn’t look a day over 25.

Which I told a nearby friend.

Who looked at me strangely admittedly… 0
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on 08 August 2005 at 20:04

Locotes, you are brilliant. And of course correct. 0
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on 09 August 2005 at 10:06

We’re both just wonderful people – how marvelous life is. 0
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Malingering and packing

5 July, 2005
Posted in: Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Travel

This morning my baby was in poor form. She had a cough. She pointed pitifully at the bathroom and said “malade”.Â She wouldn’t eat her breakfast. She lay feebly in my lap muttering “sucky thumb”.Â Alas, today was a busy day for the parent Waffles as it was our last day at work before heading off to Dublin. What to do?Â We were saved by our cleaning lady who also babysits for us who arrived to clean and then agreed to childmind. Mercifully she was free for the afternoon as well. The Princess was delighted.Â So delighted, in fact, that she hopped off my lap, where she had been reclining dolefully and into the arms of our babysitter.Â I explained that I had to go to work.Â She was blithely indifferent and waved me off with a “bye-bye Mummy, nice day” while hurrying to show our babysitter her latest acquisition – a book on a flying bunny.Â When I got home she was jumping up and down on the spare bed. Well, at least she isn’t sick, I suppose.

I am blogging and I should be packing.Â Packing for a Summer holiday in Ireland is such a challenge.Â The weather forecast is rotten but
you never know, it might just, surprisingly, be fine.Â Have packed shorts and woolly jumpers but feel that I will need more than this to
survive. Just said to Mr. Waffle “Do you think I need a coat?”Â He replied, with feeling “You are visiting Ireland in July.Â Are you mad?Â Of course, you need a coat.” Maybe I’ve been away too long.

Comments

on 06 July 2005 at 10:35

Coat, bikini, fleece, brolly – and don’t forget the sherpas.

on 06 July 2005 at 17:37

Just to confirm, weather’s been pathetic over the last week or so. Welcome home!!

on 06 July 2005 at 19:50

This coming week will be better. I’ll organise that.
And anyway, it never rains in The Stephens Green Centre or Liffey Valley, or Dundrom, or the ILAC…. 🙂

on 11 July 2005 at 12:15

Well, I heard they had a heatwave yesterday…better bring the bikini too.

on 14 July 2005 at 20:45

Bobble, it was hot. Yes, Pog, reallly it was. Locotes, unbelievable eh? JD, warm, warm, warm. Sus,your source was correct. According to the national organ of record (the evening herald) Kilkenny was hotter than Rome, Madrid or Athens on Monday. Extraordinary.

on 15 July 2005 at 10:04

Kilkenny? I’ve been there, you know. Lovely castle. And I didn’t misbehave with a blue-eyed Celt at all. Not me, guv, no guv.

on 15 July 2005 at 17:03

Everyone’s been to Kilkenny at some point. Either physically or mataphysically.

on 16 July 2005 at 07:26

Pog, how intriguing. Was it very warm? Right as always, JD.

on 18 July 2005 at 10:57

Well …erm …. oh – you mean the weather? It wasn’t bad at all Waffley – and it was only March.
The Celt was very warm. Very warm indeed. Ahem.

on 18 July 2005 at 19:16

Pog, you lead such an exciting life…

on 20 July 2005 at 10:29

Yes … well …. just occasionally.
Ahem.

Belgiska Vafflor

26 June, 2005
Posted in: Mr. Waffle

Mr. Waffle took this photo to prove that he was thinking of me and also a toy theatre.Â Attentive readers will remember that back in February, I expressed nostalgia in relation to toy theatres. I then promptly forgot all about them until Mr. Waffle came back from Sweden bearing one aloft in triumph. I was thrilled.Â When I get him presents, I get him socks. Truly it is a burden as well as a delight to live with a great present giver. The Princess got a furry turtle which we named Sven, because we are cruel and get a kick out of hearing her try to say it with her lisp.

Comments

on 26 June 2005 at 14:50

Or Scoot.

on 26 June 2005 at 17:00

Hard to believe as it is, I think this blog could be even more exciting if called Belgiska Vafflor.Sounds like a evil genius comic book villain…

on 28 June 2005 at 11:36

You’re famous. I knew it.

on 28 June 2005 at 11:37

Oh yeth.

on 28 June 2005 at 21:25

Pog, Locotes, a name change is tempting, isn’t it?

on 29 June 2005 at 13:10

Belgiska Vaffla certainly has a ring to it …..

on 01 July 2005 at 21:37

I know, I’d feel all viking; but I think I’m probably too wet to live up to it.

on 04 July 2005 at 15:10

Nah – I can just see you with the horned helmet and yellow braids …. and a bit of looting and pillaging never hurt anyone. Well, not anyone doing it.

on 04 July 2005 at 16:08
(
Comment Modified) Race traitor! Was it for this your ancestors build the round towers and buried the Ardagh Chalice in a bog or for this that Brian of the Dal Cais – with the Irish of Munster, the U’Neil and brave-hearted Ostmen kicked the crap out of that black’art Mael Morda and his Norse ally King Sygtrygg at Clontarf?! Have you no memory for such things, woman!
🙂

on 04 July 2005 at 21:29

Pog, mmm, interesting. Jack, we’re probably all vikings really…

on 05 July 2005 at 00:20

That would be the Cork crowd. And the Dove Ling shower…

on 05 July 2005 at 20:39

Now, now and you with a trip to Douglas imminent.

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