Daniel: Guess what I heard a boy say in the park?
Me: What sweetheart?
Him: “Fook off, stop touchin’ me bag.”
Me: Oh dear, that’s not very nice. Don’t say that.
Him: But that’s what he said.
Me: But it’s not very nice, we don’t say that.
Him: Yes, we say my bag.
Ireland
What are we to make of this?
Pushed under the door the other day:
Sense of Place
Email from husband:
For URL nerds
Was looking at headlines on Google news (as you do) and saw this thing about a foiled plot to plant a hoax bomb in Kildare so as to annoy the Queen. The story is a bit dull but what amused me was the Belfast Telegraph’s URL classifications: local ? National ? Republic of Ireand ? Let’s have them all !
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/republic-of-ireland/gardai-foil-dissident-gangrsquos-plot-to-disrupt-queenrsquos-visit-16002331.html
Is Féidir Linn
Dublin is just about recovered from the past fortnight. During the Queen’s visit, former Taoiseach Garrett Fitzgerald died. In between the Queen’s departure and Barack Obama’s arrival, he was buried. A State funeral between the two biggest visits of the century so far, I’d say that the protocol people were gibbering by the end of it.
Obama had a very flying visit further curtailed by the danger of the Icelandic ash cloud confining him indefinitely to the land of his (very distant) ancestors. After the collective national holding of our breath which accompanied the Queen’s visit [historic moment, will someone assault her etc. etc.], Obama’s visit was much more relaxing. Ann-Marie Hourihan had a slightly cynical article about the Queen’s visit in yesterday’s Irish Times but she did make one comment that seemed to me very true: “The visit of EilÃs A Dó has raised several interesting questions, but above all it demonstrated a central truth: official Ireland is fascinated with itself and never tires of hearing its own fragile story.”
Anyway, there didn’t seem to be the same need to prove ourselves with Obama and nobody was fazed by the Obamamobile getting stuck on a ramp leaving the US embassy. A huge crowd turned out at College Green to hear him speak in uplifting, slightly not-specific language. We just have a much, much less complicated relationship with America and we could all relax and enjoy it.
Well, not all of us, when I got home from work on Monday night no one was home. The children’s bus was cancelled due to the US presidential visit [crucially, not signalled on the Dublin Bus website] and they were traipsing home on foot with the childminder. When I called her they had reached a church about 20 minutes away. I told them to wait there and I would collect them. My poor mites were tired, cold [it was unseasonly chilly], hungry and cranky when I picked them up; they’d been tossed out of the church because the verger was closing up and they were sitting mournfully on the porch. “Obama cancelled our bus,” said the Princess bitterly, “I like the Queen much better.” “Well,” I pointed out, “the Queen cancelled your bus too.” “Yes,” she said, “but she gave us the day off school so it didn’t matter, God save the Queen.”
Oh yeah, and just like the Queen, Obama came out with some Irish. “Is féidir linn” he announced – as Des Bishop said on twitter: #isféidirlinn actually means we can and not #yeswecan but there is no direct translation for positivity in Irish. Nevertheless, I understand that the t-shirts are selling like hot cakes.
Questions, Questions
“Why is no one in Ireland allowed to see the Queen?” the Princess asked me. Alas, this is completely accurate as security is v. tight and the Irish public have all become royalists overnight. Actually not, in fact, completely accurate, everyone in Ireland who is remotely famous, well-known or in the media did meet the Queen and they have been warbling about it in a slightly star struck way ever since: please see this effusion.
Also, watching the Queen at a stud farm on the news [only third item this evening, upstaged by the extraordinary DSK adventures and the death of former Taoiseach Garrett Fitzgerald] this evening, the Princess asked who is in charge in England now that the Queen is away. I said that they could call for advice, if they needed it but she persisted, “Does that man who has been waiting forever to be king get a chance to practice?” I think not.
Onwards, next week Obama.
QE II
I have never seen so many Guards in my life. Town was crawling with them today. I wish I’d bought a camera. Nevertheless, I was able to cycle into work around the cordon of steel in the morning without too much difficulty. Helicopters droned above my building all afternoon.
About 3.30 I met a colleague, originally from Northern Ireland, who had grabbed a place to see the excitement at 1 and was then sneaking back to the office. She said that it was very difficult to get any kind of view. Despite her [quite untrue] pleas to the Guards that she wanted to go to Clery’s [a large Department store] they wouldn’t let her through so she went down to the quays and back up O’Connell Street where, at last, at about 3, her patience was rewarded by sight of the Queen’s cavalcade. She said that the crowd were very sunny [weather overcast though – the Queen is experiencing Irish weather at its most authentic] and there was lots of waving on both sides. My colleague lost the run of herself and started clapping. There were no Union Jacks except for one little boy who had obviously brought his own.Â
My colleague said that she could hear the Garda radios and there was some trouble further up the street some alleged IRA man was causing a disturbance with a couple of protesters but it seemed to be in hand. She felt, however, that neither the black balloons rising into the sky nor the bangers were likely to have been part of the official plan.  There was also some kind of protest in a side street near the office but they were miles from the action.Â
I can’t help feeling that the Queen is probably not seeing Dublin at its best what with the protests, the rain, the relentless helicopter drone that is following her everywhere and the dull but worthy attractions she is covering during her once in a lifetime trip. I mean, the Garden of Remembrance is all very symbolic and that but it’s quite a poorly laid out little park that isn’t even particularly attractive to the sandwich in the park brigade. Croke Park is a stadium. A historic stadium, but you know, essentially a big field.Â
I suppose, at least she has the Phoenix Park to herself and the War Memorial Gardens at Islandbridge are nice – designed by Lutyens, lots of roses too. In the novel “Skippy Dies” the teacher takes his class there and is upbraided for taking them to somewhere so rough and dangerous. Of course, compared to near where we live it’s a haven of tranquillity etc. Let us hope that the Queen thinks so also.  And she’s scheduled to visit two stud farms on the way to Cork so that’s likely to make up for it, anyway. And, of course, she’ll be going to Cork City– lucky old her.
Myself, I think that’s the worst of it over. The Garden of Remembrance was always likely to be the trickiest. It commemorates those killed in various uprisings over the centuries. No prizes for guessing who they were uprising against. I feel that Croke Park [this link will take you to a piece highlighting incorrect use of the apostrophe] will be ok. And after that, she’s not visiting anything particularly controversial.
And then we can move on to Barack Obama next week. At least he’s not as big a security risk. Maybe some of the Guards will be allowed to go home.
The main event of the week is still being planned of course. I received a frustrated email from my brother about various Communion logistics wherein he observed bitterly: “I tell you there is more planning involved in Mum coming up for the day than in the Queen’s visit.” I can see a new cliché in the making.
