It’s May, it’s the season. I wondered where the children in my daughter’s school made their first communion. Upon enquiry, we were told that they were likely to change the venue as this year the church had been double booked for a funeral. I’m not sure whether you have to be catholic to find that funny.
Dublin
Sweet Pea Carnage
I bought sweet peas in March and grew them on the windowsill. They thrived. I planted them out two months ago and put up netting using garden staples. I was assisted in this process by three small children with hammers so it was more traumatic and less effective than I would have liked. The sweet pea all died. I was gutted, but then, some, miraculously, came back to life; they climbed, they thrived, I watered them and cooed over them. I got excited at the prospect that I might actually have flowers.
This morning, I drove into school with the children and Mr. Waffle. When I got there, I realised that I had, idiotically, left my briefcase at home. Mr. Waffle dropped me back home. I decided that I would cycle back into work. Mr. Waffle went about his business. I went in the side gate to pick up my bicycle. I cast my eye over the garden and, to my horror saw that the netting had come adrift, decapitating my sweet pea and leaving them trailing miserably on the ground.
Time was marching on but I felt it was vital to attempt to repair matters. Whether my employer would have shared this view remains, thankfully, a moot point. The back door was bolted, so I thought it would be easier to reattach the netting with the heel of my shoe than going round the front, letting myself in and getting a hammer. This is why, when I should have been in my place of work, I was standing one legged in the mud hammering with a shoe. There is a moral here somewhere. You will be pleased to hear that, as of this evening, the sweet pea is recovering.
Also, and unrelated, email from my husband as follows: “I see a letter in today’s Irish Times suggesting that we are a sitcom (Single Income, Three Children, Outrageous Mortgage).”
2 degrees of separation
I live in a small country. Pretty much everyone in Ireland knows everyone else.
Whenever my husband and I watch the news there is always at least one pundit/reporter/other person whom one or both of us knows. This evening, for example, there was a man from the Ireland Palestine Solidarity Campaign talking angrily about the Israeli attack on the flotilla coming into Gaza. “Oh” said my husband, “he was in college with me.” Pause. “He’s Jewish.” However, Mr. Waffle’s moment of the match this evening came when his bicycle (tied to a railing) was visible behind a reporter for several seconds.
Let me tell you another story. I met some new people through friends one evening. We were all chatting quite happily when one of the women I hadn’t met before (v. glamourous, pretty, beautifully made up, terrifying heels, long blonde hair) asked me what I thought of a topical political issue. I gave my view. She gave her diametrically opposed one. We discussed. She got crosser and crosser. Though her concern was legitimate, many of the facts she adduced to support her argument were wrong and I told her so (ever tactful). Our common friend, seeking, I thought, to give the conversation a safer direction, asked what we thought about Bono telling Ireland to meet its development aid targets while moving part of U2’s business to the Netherlands to avoid tax. As my friend said, “Where do they think governments get their money from? They get it from tax revenue and it is hypocritical of Bono to preach that revenue should be spent on development aid and then moving his tax payments elsewhere.” Although this was old news, I felt that it would give us some common ground as who would defend U2 in these circumstances. But no, this other woman mounted a spirited defence of U2’s tax affairs. They gave huge amounts of money to charity, they still paid a lot of tax here, other companies outsourced to minimise their tax liability, Ireland used the same trick to draw in revenue from other countries. My friend remained implacable, I was with my friend. Feeling that matters were getting quite tetchy, I jested “Ireland is full of begrudgers.” “Are you one of them?” she snapped at me. Of course I am but, you know, nobody likes to be called a begrudger. “Do you work for U2?” I joked. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”
Have I mentioned before that everybody in Ireland is only 2 degrees of separation from Bono?
Grave Concerns
I never told you about the Sunday that I made everyone go to the museum in the cemetery. Here is an extract from the museum guide to “Ireland’s Necropolis”:
“The glazed Prospect Gallery offers a breathtaking panorama of the cemetery, along with information on its marvellous array of historic graves.”
I bet you wish that you’d come too.
Much as I love cemeteries and tea rooms, I am not sure that I would have had the audacity to combine the two. This is what the brochure has to say: “As part of the visitor experience Glasnevin Museum has provided a 70 seat cafe for your enjoyment. Serving morning coffee, lunch and afternoon tea, this is the perfect place to meet your friends or take the family.”
To clarify, the cafe is in the cemetery. You can see people being buried from the window as you eat your chocolate muffin. It is mildly unsettling. I am not sure that I would call it the perfect place to bring the family.
Though I am being sarcastic at their expense, it was all mildly entertaining (15 euros to get in, mind you) and the cafe was pleasant with futuristic bathrooms which the children enjoyed.
I thought you should know, in case you ever find yourself at a loose end in Dublin.
Weekend Round-up or the Concerns of the Middle Aged
I spent a very happy afternoon on Saturday in the back garden digging up things and poking at things I had planted. I was slightly appalled by this but as a friend of my mother’s whom I met for lunch today said “you have to grow up some time.”
On Saturday night I attended a joint 40th birthday party and dissipated all of my zen happiness by encouraging a friend to tell me all about her beautifully renovated large house. Envy is such a corrosive emotion. Was slightly soothed by getting a lift home from another friend in his porsche which he (hilariously) enjoys driving around underground car parks at speed. I think that Mr. Waffle who was sitting in the front, enjoyed it a lot less. On a negative note, while the 911 is built for speed, it is not built for back seat passengers and getting in and out was not a dignified exercise.
I then brought our lovely, but slightly neurotic and highly strung, French babysitter home and said that she looked tired. She is very confiding and told me a long and complex tale about her boyfriend’s perfidy, intertwined with her difficulties in getting a summer placement for her course. I sympathised as effectively as I could. I was somewhat hampered by the fact that all of this was confided to me in French and I wasn’t entirely clear what the perfidy was.
On Sunday at mass, the children got given plastic rosary beads and miraculous medals. Daniel insisted on wearing his blue beads around his neck all day and, combined with his peaked cap and baggy tracksuit, he looked like a little wannabe rapper. The Princess ate her miraculous medal.
In the afternoon we went to Dollymount beach which could be pretty but suffers from the following, not insignificant, drawbacks:
a) it is smelly;
b) it is rough;
c) there are horse races with little buggy things;
d) large ships pass nearby;
e) it was low tide (not a permanent drawback, I concede);
f) a large husky kept escaping from his very tattooed masters and barking at the small children;
g) the car park is on the beach – yes on the sand – I am not making this up;
h) motor bikes drive up and down the beach.
Despite the above, the beach has beautiful golden sand which kept the children amused for several hours when they were not cowering behind rocks in fear due to c), e) and h) above. It also has beautiful views of the Dublin mountains which are lovely so long as you keep your line of sight above the industrial buildings that litter the coastline.
Small World or I am allowed to be as pretentious as I like here
Sometimes at lunch time I go to the National Gallery. It’s peaceful there. Following my trip to Paris and my new found love for Largillière, I have been working my way around the two (very small) French rooms. I looked at the picture of Richard Wall by Van Loo. It’s a good picture and I spent a while imaging Mr. Wall, who has a face made for meetings, chairing a very dull modern committee without a wig or a skirted coat. He was described as Spanish Ambassador to England and I thought that was a little odd and perhaps it should be the other way around. Wikipedia, as ever, was my friend. Richard Wall was indeed Spanish Ambassador to England although he was more commonly known as Ricardo Wall. But he was of Irish origin, in fact his people came from Kilmallock in Co. Limerick (where, as it happens, my mother grew up and my cousins still live). Wouldn’t it be worth mentioning this in the description and perhaps even moving Ambassador Wall to the fledgling Irish portrait gallery on the ground floor?