Michael yelled in alarm from downstairs, “A mouse! A mouse!” Mr. Waffle rushed downstairs. The Princess and I cravenly hid in a bedroom with the door firmly closed. Mr. Waffle finding the cat with a live mouse clamped in her jaws at the bottom of the stairs tossed both out the front door. It was a wet day so the cat did the sensible thing and ran straight to the cat flap at the back door and let herself in with the expiring mouse still clamped firmly in her jaws. Mr. Waffle threw them out the front again and rushed to the back door where he put his foot against the cat flap. The cat, with the, now dead, mouse in her mouth succeeded in getting in despite his efforts. He managed to separate her from the mouse and throw it out. She was very peeved. Rather disturbingly, she spent the remainder of the day with her head buried in the back of the bookshelf. What rather unwelcome conclusions may we reach from this?
Hodge
The Joys of Owning a Cat
From: Me
To: Mr. Waffle
Subject: What “Meow†Means
From: Mr. Waffle
To: Me
Subject: What “Meow†Means
I see. It may also mean “I’ve been peeing under the lego box for months and I want to be there when you find out”
Stalked by Illness
Michael (loudly from upstairs): There’s something disgusting in my room.
It turned out to be cat vomit. Isn’t it enough that I have children who start to vomit the second they feel ill?
Perspective
What we see: Brown Bin for food waste.
What our cat sees: Source of occasional treats.
What our neighbour’s cat sees: Guest buffet.
What I see: new seeds just sown in freshly turned earth.
What our cat sees: A spot for rolling.
What our neighbour’s cat sees: A new latrine.
Beware the Cat!
A guard came to visit our house the other day and said that he had tried to call over Christmas while we were away – see the kind of individual attention we get from the police in the edgy inner city?
He told us that when he called by when we were away, he peered in the window and saw the cat. Then he went to the hall door and looked through the letter box. Hodge was ready for him – she leapt up at him and, by his own admission, he jumped back in alarm. He said that she represented excellent security against burglars. Of course, she would let anyone in who offered to feed her.
Ferocious guard cat relaxes by the fire after a stressful day guarding the house:
Derring-do
We were out the other night. We left the children in the hands of our very competent middle-aged child minder. When we returned, she had a tale of adventure to relate.
The cat had brought in a small mouse between her iron jaws [an event which, alas, is only too common] and the child minder had squealed and looked away. The commotion brought the Princess downstairs. Leaving the child minder quivering in a chair, the Princess got out the dustpan and brush, reproved the [v. peeved] cat, swept up the corpse and covered it in tissues for safe disposal by the child minder. She then sailed back to bed having spread peace in her dominions.
In the morning, when complimented on her daring, she said, “It was only a small mouse; and it was dead.”
