This morning Daniel said to me, “Mummy, when I grow up, can I marry you?”
Daniel
Surely some mistake
In spite of dungeon, fire, sword and mild social embarrasment
When a friend visited last week, our children sat to draw at the table. Daniel approached me with his picture. “What’s that sweetheart?” I asked him. “It’s a crucifixion, Mummy.” he said, which, clearly, it was. We gave it to the priest after mass on Sunday and he has promised to hang it up in the church.
Staying at Home
I have taken quite a bit of unpaid time off work this month and spent it at home with the children. Despite my fears that I would be driven up the wall, I was pleasantly surprised to find it all, well, pleasant. I got on better with the children when I spent more time with them. For the first time since I left college, I am having a real summer holiday and I like it – all those long days with nothing much planned. It’s nice too not to be shunting the children off to course after course which must be done when both of us are working.
I am sorry to be coming over all Oliver James, but there it is. I do realise that I am very, very lucky to have such an accommodating employer and not everyone is in a position to do this for financial (actually, I’m not sure I can afford it but we will draw a veil) or practical reasons. I also suspect that if this were an open-ended commitment rather than a limited stretch, I might regard it rather differently.
If it is any comfort, I have already ruined them by all my previous time working. I had a friend over during the week and her four children were completely saintly (including the baby, dammit) while mine, frankly, were squirm-makingly awful. My friend has taken an enforced break from work to go abroad with her husband and she is finding the experience very different from her previous life. As someone who worked all her life until last year, she was recently shocked to hear her two year old say to a working mother: “But mothers don’t have jobs.” The working mother riposted, “Oh, sweetie, mothers do have jobs, they just don’t have careers.” Oh the uncomfortable truth of that.
Aspirations
Daniel: When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut.
Me: Good for you. Do you know what you need to be an astronaut?
Daniel (doubtfully): A space ship?
Me: Well, yes, but do you know what you need to do now so that you can be an astronaut when you grow up?
Daniel: Buy a space suit?
Me: Mmm, no, I meant work very hard at your maths.
Daniel: Like what’s 1+1?
Me: Exactly.
Him: Only harder than 1+1. That’s very easy.
Me: Yes, that’s right.
Him: Maybe as hard as 8+5? That’s a very hard one, even I don’t know that.
I think I have given him the impression that astronauts are examined on their tables before they are let into a space ship.
Single Issue Pressure Group
Daniel: Is the Government a person?
Me: No, sweetheart, it’s a group of people who run the country and decide what to spend our money on.
Daniel: What do they spend our money on?
Me: Well, hospitals, roads…
Daniel: Traffic lights?
Me: Yes traffic lights and… schools and teachers..
Michael: I hate my teacher.
Me: Well, Michael, what do you think that the Government should spend our money on?
Michael: They should give it to the shops so that I can get a computer for me.
Me: Well, they give money to schools so that everyone can have computers in schools.
Michael: There’s no computer in my classroom.
Mr. Waffle: But next year when you go to the classroom next door you’ll have a computer in the classroom.
Michael (starting to wail): But that computer is BROKEN.
Mr. Waffle: Well, but Michael the Government has lots of things to spend money on and there isn’t enough money and they have to decide what would be the best way to spend the money they have.
Michael (mutinously): I think the best thing would be to buy a computer for me.
Me (mentally searching for what Michael might deem worthy expenditure and rejecting all school related costs): Well, Michael, there are sick children in hospitals who need medicine and machines to make them better and the Government is spending money on that so it can’t afford your computer.
Michael (crying): The sick children are taking my computer.
Mr. Waffle: That went well.
Me: Michael is clearly a believer in big government.
Michael is going to be honing his pre-budget submission tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, as he can’t write, it will have to be a picture coloured in crayon.
