My brother decided to go to Tenerife for Christmas last year. On balance, I decided that on the first Christmas since our father died, it would not be great to leave my sister to celebrate Christmas alone with our elderly aunt (aunt is not really transportable so her Christmas has to be in Cork). We went to Cork en masse. It was pretty successful from our point of view but I would concede that it was a bit of a squash and a squeeze and, of course, my poor sister had loads of work to do as hostess.
Last year, my brother suggested putting my aunt in respite and having my sister come to Dublin. At the time, I thought it was an appalling and callous suggestion but, I have to say, now I am slightly more amenable. My brother is going away for Christmas again (Annecy, thanks for asking) and my sister has said, firmly but politely, that she’d prefer us to come to Cork after Christmas rather than for Christmas and that she doesn’t want my aunt to go into respite. I wanted to see her face to face for this to make sure that she meant it. I saw her last week, she meant it. We’re going to go down on the 27th.
Meanwhile my sister-in-law in Dublin had asked what our plans were and kindly offered to host us for Christmas day. At the time, I said that I was unsure but that we would probably be in Cork. I met my sister-in-law for lunch today and as agenda item 1, I was keen to share our Christmas news. Imagine my horror when she led with the news that, after some initial reluctance to go away for Christmas, she had taken up her brother’s invitation to spend the day in Wexford with him and his family. We both gasped on receipt of each other’s news, but sure here we are. We have agreed that we will go to their house for a family get together on St. Stephen’s Day which will be nice but not the same.
My other sister-in-law and her little family are staying in London which I totally understand.
So, in summary, I will be cooking Christmas dinner for just the five of us (possibly for the first time ever?). A change is as good as a rest, I guess.
Your brother certainly knows how to look after himself (Hello Dan, if you’re reading:-)
The lovely thing about having Christmas in your own home for just your closest is that you can do exactly what you want when you want. I bet that Aga is just crying out for a run at the festive board.
Christmas is a nightmare – I have spent this week tracking down family to find who will be where when, so that I can organise festive deliveries for those (most of them) who are too far scattered for us to see. My mother always used to refuse to engage before my brother’s birthday – on Friday – but the logistics mean I am on it already…sigh…
Christmas with just your husband and children? Fantastic. You’ll never go back.
Heather, as you know, Dan never reads. Very trying. You would think he might be interested, but no.
Suzy, I feel your pain. I think your mother’s rule is a good one but it just seems to be more and more complicated. Without wishing to blame the victim, I can’t help worrying it may all be my own fault.
Jennifer, I don’t know. We always go out or have people over at Christmas, I guess it will be ok but it will be strange. But maybe good strange.
I am in catch up mode…and am torn between the relative ease of a small Christmas at home with just immediate family and grand celebrations with the larger orbit. To be honest, I want the stress—free version of the second but know It is impossible. Technology may be, if not the answer, a salve for you to help with connections on 12/25.
I guess technology will play some kind of role alright, Karen. We’ll see how it goes.