One Sunday, I was running a bit late and as I was washing my teeth in the bathroom, I heard Mr. Waffle and the children depart for mass. I scooted out after them a couple of minutes later and ran into a neighbour who assured me they had only just gone around the corner. Be that as it may, they reached the church before me and as I slid into the pew, I noticed that Herself was already up with the choir at the front and Michael was sitting beside his father. “Where’s Daniel?” I asked. “Isn’t he with you?” “No.” Cue much concern. His father sprinted back to the house to find him placidly reading his book on his bed and utterly ignorant of the fact that he had been home alone, though quite briefly. It’s very easy to lose count is all I will say in our defence.
“Washing my teeth”? Do you have dentures? You’re very young.