Mr. Waffle came home from football with a nasty cut on his arm from a fall on the astroturf. Daniel asked anxiously whether the physio had been called on to the pitch.
Archives for January 2014
Not Touching
Herself: What is your life expectancy?
Me: I don’t know. Don’t worry, it’s really long.
Herself: What exactly?
Me: It’s an average, you know, I could live longer than my life expectancy.
Herself: But what is it?
Me: Maybe 80.
Herself: You’re not middle-aged any more then.
Messages
People who add items to the shopping list in this house have plenty of opinions:
Small test, see if you can guess what the item that looks like “unandell” might be.
Basking in Reflected Glory
One Sunday, the Princess did a second reading, Mr. Waffle did a bit at the start of mass and all the children did prayers of the faithful. I didn’t do anything, though, as Mr. Waffle pointed out, “We’re not the ones who need practice with our public speaking.”
As Mr. Waffle was doing his bit, a neighbour in the seat behind poked me in the ribs and said, “He’d be perfect for RTE.” I assume, a compliment. The American priest said mass; we’re getting used to him. At the end, he singled out herself for particular praise, “I would like to compliment the young lady who read the second reading; it’s a difficult text and she read it beautifully.” Everybody dutifully clapped and herself was mortified, though pleased. This kind of announcement in the church is, of course, the kind of thing I normally despise but, like many another thing, it’s never so bad when you’re involved yourself.
I think I have reached the high water mark in church engagement. From here, it’s all downhill. Indeed, Michael has recently begun pumping the air when the priest says “Mass is ended” which is unwelcome.
Oh Dear
Herself: The teacher asked how many degrees there were in a circle today.
Me: Oh right, you’ve been doing the circle for a while now.
Herself: Yes, and [boy] said, ‘What size is the circle?’
Me: Did the teacher cry?
Herself: She was crying inside.
Aging Gracefully
My esteemed father-in-law, retired captain of industry, was 70 today. He celebrated by running around Howth head. I am not joking. He won his race category but, as he pointed out, since there were only two people in the category, this was not as great a victory as it might seem.
Herself made buns to celebrate:
