Michael (loudly from upstairs): There’s something disgusting in my room.
It turned out to be cat vomit. Isn’t it enough that I have children who start to vomit the second they feel ill?
Archives for June 2012
Guilty Conscience
Mr. Waffle is going to a 20 year college reunion on Saturday night. 20 years ago, he paid a classmate a fiver for a class photo but she never delivered. He had written it off some time ago but he remembered the incident, if not with bitterness then definitely with…rememberedness. This was, of course, “when money was money” as my parents would say and a fiver would buy you an entire summer’s worth of entertainment.
Anyhow, he clearly isn’t the only one who remembers because she contacted him the other day and said, “I still have your class photo.”
Nationality
Me: Am I the best Mummy?
Michael: Yes you are!
Me: In the whole wide…?
Michael: Google?
Me: You are a digital native.
Herself: And what are you?
Me: I’m a digital traveller, no wait, a digital stranger, a digital visitor..oh I forget.
Her: A digital sieve?
Very Louche
Tintin is rough in Dublin, I see. Why might that be? Your thoughts? Is the Hergé estate happy with this? A mystery.
J’accuse!
Me: Who went upstairs in muddy shoes?
Princess: I don’t know.
Me: Then why does a trail of footprints lead to your bedroom door?
Princess: That is rather incriminating, isn’t it?
Yes, indeed.
Test
I went to see Wendy Cope at a poetry reading. I thought that she was surprisingly tetchy for someone who writes a lot of funny verse but maybe it was just the weather. There’s a joke to be made there somewhere – talk among yourselves and get back to me.
She was reading with Dennis O’Driscoll who was a lovely man and rather cowed by her, I thought. Though perhaps he did provoke her slightly.
In discussion afterwards, Dennis O’Driscoll said that Ireland was a great place to be a poet and Wendy Cope said that in England, nobody could name three contemporary poets. Both of these comments seem a bit unlikely to me but reader, tell me, can you name 3 contemporary poets? Googling will disqualify. Answering will restore my faith in humanity. No pressure now.
