We bought the Princess a large helium Dora balloon some time ago for reasons I will not bore you with (comments along the lines of, don’t stop now, are as tactless as they are unwelcome). This was very unwise. Scenes of bloody chaos ensued as the Princess held it above her head and beat off her little brothers who desired the Dora balloon with every atom of their beings. “Take them away” she screamed as she whacked them in the face and they cried with mingled shrieks of pain and desire. Wouldn’t you love to live in our house?
Princess: So, if Dora dies, her heart will stop beating and the blood will stop pumping and all her limbs will die and she will turn black underground.
Me: Well, yes, except she’s a balloon.
Also, she’s a very creepy balloon. For evidence of how she follows one round the house, please see here. Yes, I know, it’s sideways. Is that a problem?
