I have often employed the tactic of offering the Princess, unpalatable choices, for example, she will say “I don’t want to go out†and I will reply “well, it’s either go out or go for a nap; you decideâ€. She is then temporarily stuck and I use the pause to press home my advantage. She seems to be getting the hang of this game, though. The other day she asked me to read her a story as I was getting Daniel out of the bath. “I can’t†I said. “Well, it’s either read me a story or get a smack; you decideâ€. I should point out that although she personally is a big fan of corporal punishment, we have never smacked the Princess, though we have often been tempted. She does not appear to have imbibed our values and believes in the “spare the rod and spoil the child†maxim, particularly, insofar as it applies to her brothers.
Archives for January 2007
Random
Firsts:
Michael walked across the room today. Daniel cannot do this and he is bitter.
The Princess remembered where she had left her doggy. She also reminded us that my brother is coming to visit next week; we have a lot on our minds, some things leak out.
I answered an internet questionnaire thingy for Peggy. I don’t normally do these things because I’m too lazy, but there you go. I sit here with my little fingers frozen to the keyboard to oblige (did I mention that we have no hot water and no heating tonight?)
1. Attrapez le livre le plus proche, allez à la page 18 et écrivez la 4ème ligne. corpses: most lie within what has become popularly known as
2. Sans vérifier, quelle heure est-il ? 23.49
3. Vérifiez :23.51
4. Que portez-vous ?
Electric blue Christmas present fleece over work clothes – not a great look.
5. Avant de répondre à ce questionnaire, que regardiez-vous ?
Flickr – trying to work out the mysteries of photo posting. I may be making progress.
6. Quel bruit entendez-vous à part celui de l’ordinateur ?
Nothing – all is silence though I expect to hear a little cry shortly.
7. Quand êtes-vous sortie la dernière fois, qu’avez-vous fait ?
I went out to the night shop to buy milk for the boys. They have consumed in excess of 3 litres since yesterday. Sigh
8. Avez-vous rêvé cette nuit ?
No. I slept from 11.00 to 6.00 and only got out of bed at 8.15. Fabulous.
9. Quand avez-vous ri la dernière fois ?Not since my loving spouse went to bed at 10.00 telling me not to stay playing with the computer all night. Can it really be nearly midnight?10. Qu’y a-t-il sur les murs de la pièce où vous êtes ?
A picture of men with currachs. A picture of yachts in Cork harbour framed by John Gilbert of Patrick Street, Cork: Print Seller, Frame Maker, Leather and Fancy Goods; Optician to the Eye Hospital and to the Faculty. A man of positively Victorian talents. A port of Cork calendar. A couple of Giles Norman prints of, um, boats. I am somewhat surprised by the nautical theme here. And a picture of her highness taken just before she finished at the creche. I remember Heather writing once about those houses which have acres of family pictures everywhere you look and I cringed in recognition but what can I say, I have three children and everyone conspires to photo them and charge me for it. And then, of course, there are my own sins of photography. There is also a list of school holidays, creche holidays and work holidays. Behind me are two of Bobble‘s beautiful photos which Mr. Waffle got me as an inspired present and a stained glass picture we got as a wedding present. I would go on, but I think we’re all getting tired of this exercise.
11. Si vous deveniez multimillionnaire dans la nuit, quelle est la première chose que vous achèteriez ?
A house in Dublin sufficient for our needs. Three story over basement in the centre with a large garden. Oh rats, only a multimillionaire? I was hoping for billionaire status.
12. Quel est le dernier film que vous ayez vu ?
Angela’s Ashes. Why?
13. Avez-vous vu quelque chose d’étrange aujourd’hui ?
No.
14. Que pensez-vous de ce questionnaire ?
It’s long – Peggy, why did you make me do it? I should be in bed.
15. Dites-nous quelque chose de vous que ne savons pas encore.
You know everything about me. No, wait, let me think. Actually, yes, you do.
16. Quel serait le prénom de votre enfant si c’était une fille ?
Well, Cecelia, if Mr. Waffle didn’t hate it so much that he would have to spit every time he said it.
17. Quel serait le prénom de votre enfant si c’était un garçon ?
Well, I’m thinking maybe Michael, maybe Daniel. Is everyone else on the internet too young to have children?
19. Que voudriez-vous que Dieu vous dise lorsque vous franchirez les portes du paradis ?
Wishy washiness rewarded, or, perhaps, more traditionally, blessed are the peacemakers.
20. Si vous pouviez changer quelque chose dans le monde en dehors de la culpabilité et la politique, que changeriez-vous ?
I’m not sure I understand culpabilite but if it means, no world peace type choices then, as a former Miss World candidate, I’m baffled. Did I tell you that a friend of mine’s uncle married a former Miss World. It’s been a curse to her; she has very beautiful cousins.
21. Aimez-vous danser ?
Yes, I’m just not very good at it.
22. Georges Bush ?
Do I like him or his policies? I think he is probably a pleasant dinner companion and, if he were a friend of your parents, you’d probably think that he and Laura were lovely people. I bet they’d look at all the photos of your children too. As for policies, well, I don’t even think that George likes those much any more.
23. Quelle est la dernière chose que vous ayez regardée à la télévision ?
Holby City. Oh dear.
24. Quelles sont les 4 personnes qui doivent prendre le relais sur leur blog ?
Nobody will have to suffer. Thank you and good night.
She sings
Yes, I know, more videos of my children, well you don’t have to look, if you don’t want to. I’d like you to know that her devoted aunt thinks she may have perfect pitch. Ahem. What do you think?
Wish me luck, I’m off to collect herself from school, thereafter we go to the creche to collect the boys and then on to the doctor’s where at least two of them will have to have jabs. I quake with fear, people.
Hello there cruel world
Please don’t make me beg. The children already do that. At 10.30 pm, I negotiated as follows with the Princess:
Me: You need to go to your own bed.
Her: Silent clinging.
Me: Daddy wants to go to sleep.
Her: Silent clinging.
Me: OK, you can sleep in our bed until I come into bed.
Her: Silent clinging.
Me: Do you want me to come to bed too?
Her: Silent clinging.
Me: OK, look, I’ll lie down with you for a bit in Mummy and Daddy’s bed.
Her: Victorious smile.
So, ahem, I see from the Irish Times that there are Irish blog awards. I mean fancy. If you were to nominate me, I would be pleased, I would be grateful, I would promise faithfully to reply more regularly to the odd commenter who comments here (just to let you know, your comments are the sunshine of my life), so, that’s it then, except would you call this a specialist blog? I’ve decided that it is. This is not a hint or any attempt to influence potential voters should they exist. Should you choose to do so, you could nominate me here, or not, of course. It’s a delightfully straightforward process, honestly. Would you prefer, if I slept on the floor?
Nervous
A while back a colleague said to me “you don’t have a blog or something daft like that?” and instead of replying in a suitably Jesuitical manner “why would you ask me something like that, do I look like I’m 16?”, I was caught on the hop and I said “yes”. He is the first person I’ve ever worked with who has known about the blog. It’s a little unnerving. We are friends as well as colleagues and I trust him to keep my secret safe (are you listening J?) but yet, the whole Chinese wall thing is mildly unsatisfactory. My colleague rubbed his hands in glee when he found out and said “it’s like being gay and wanting not to be outed”. Who would have thought this blog would bring me such a range of new experiences?
And then there’s another friend and former colleague who has heard that the blog exists and is, I am paranoidly convinced, slowly but surely scanning the blogosphere until he finds me. Not that there’s anything here I haven’t already told people; as one friend memorably remarked to me, “you would tell your life story to the person beside you at the bus stop”. Do other people’s colleagues know that they blog? Do they still have paid employment? Answers on a postcard, please.
In other news, my feckless brother is coming to visit tomorrow and as my mother says “you must be absolutely delighted”. Yes, yes, I am, of course I am. I just had to remind her that he has faults but she remains annonyingly unconvinced.
Guest spot
The feckless brother has written this for your delectation:
Got over to Brussels this morning on an early morning flight, had to get to the airport very early to deny one of Micheal O’Leary’s minions the pleasure of saying the check in desk is closed and which part of no refund don’t you understand. As you can imagine I was in peak form for a community service visit staying in a house with three exhausting but adorable kids. First stop was to pick up the eldest girl the Princess, she was in top form terrorising the lunch time customers of an elegant Brussels eaterie. Not being used to the business of looking after kids I found her behaviour exhibited a certqin degree of stuborness which I was inclined to put down to genetics but my elder sibling assured me it is was the way all 3 year old kids were. Next up was the playground, with lethal looking monkey bars climbing walls and slides. The place reminded me of an unfortunaye incident a few years previously I managed to sprain my ankle trying to impress a girl on the monkey bars after pub closing time……….suffice it to say the outcome wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for [i.e. three weeks on crutches]. Fortunately today’s visit did not leave me mentally and physically broken as the Princess took to the playground with a vengence; she made a sand cake for me and as I looked like I was about to eat it I could see the princess thinking “he’s thick enough to do this” and she duly warned me that it was a pretend cake. I’ve been called away now to play a boardgame by my niece, I fear I’m going to test her patience as she explains the rules to me.
