Certainties

Her (provocatively sticking her hands in her gravy): What would Mother Borgia say?*

Me (exasperated):  Well she’s not likely to say much, honey, given that she’s been dead for a number of years.

Him: Are you going to explain about death to her?

Me: I think she already understands a bit.

Him: Really?

Me: It’s just that she doesn’t regard it as very final; Snow White, Jesus and Molly Malone are the only people she’s come across who’ve died.

*For reasons far too dull to go into, this nun who taught my mother at school, sets the standard for proper eating habits in our family.  Usually, in this context she would say “use your cutlery”.  Yes, of course, there was a saint Borgia, those poisoners were very well connected.