My sister
and I spoke on the phone during the week.
Round I
Me: YouÂ’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.
Her: Why?
Me
(triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!
Her: What?
What?
Me: I
dropped Michael.
Her: Oh
God!
Me: Not
very far and on to the sofa, he didnÂ’t like it much though.
Daniel poos.
Me: Did you hear that?
Her: I was trying to ignore it.
Me: That
was your nephew doing a poo.
Her: Too
much information.
Me: But my
life is full of poo at the moment.
Her (tartly):
But mine doesnÂ’t have to be.
Me
(grudgingly): Fair point.
Round II
Me: I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other
night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your
clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the
programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell meÂ…
Her: No.
Me: Why
not?
Her
(crabbily): I havenÂ’t seen you much
since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I
got my nose bitten off.
Me (even
more crabbily): Have you any idea how
hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?
Her (hastily):
Anyway, I havenÂ’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.
Me: ItÂ’s
still all the same.
Her: Pregnant
silence.
Me: Oh I
see.
Knock out
Her:
Anyway, IÂ’ve got to go, I have a meeting.
Me: But you
canÂ’t go, IÂ’m stuck under two feeding babies.
Her: Sorry.
Me
(desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio
is off.
Her: Gotta
go, bye, talk to you soon.
I spend the
next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying
to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.
Friar Tuck
on 21 November 2005 at 17:58
on 22 November 2005 at 09:19
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone.
Sweetie(s) given
]]>
https://www.belgianwaffle.net/2005/11/467/
Nothing to See Here
I recommend that you read this. It is the funniest thing I have read in some time.
Completely unrelated:
The Law Society of Ireland Gazette is anxious to reassure that solicitors are taking the latest slur on the legal profession seriously (too lengthy and depressing to go into). This month the magazine assures readers that “..the Society will accept, for the first time, complaints made other than in writing”. Way to go, thatÂ’’s bound to reassure the punters.
on 22 November 2005 at 09:56
it frightened the bejeesus out of me. I’ve never had kids. I’d like to have them – or at least I did.
on 22 November 2005 at 15:06
H, reckon Minks is too experienced to be scared now, but at least Norah and Cookie are terrified.
on 22 November 2005 at 15:39
Hilarious- a little bit of wee snuck out (only a little though, thank god.)
on 23 November 2005 at 09:31
Hell- I’m never having a baby and I was terrified. And amused.
Do you think the Law Society will be accepting complaints such as rotten eggs hurled at them, by the way?
on 23 November 2005 at 12:11
Minks, showing your experience – amused not terrified, see pog was terrified and amused in that order. Pog, suspect that they might not, worth a try though…
If I could use the photoshop thingy, I might get rid of the patch of
vomit between them on the sheet or I suppose I could use that time to
change the sheet..
Friar Tuck
on 22 November 2005 at 15:32
on 22 November 2005 at 15:44
Sweetie(s) given
on 22 November 2005 at 16:28
Twin 2: “Shhh! I hear her coming! Just look cute so she doesn’t get suspicious!”
Sweetie(s) given
on 22 November 2005 at 17:34
Sweetie(s) given
on 23 November 2005 at 09:34
Twin 2: Shtill doan geddit. Wha’s she puttin’ in our bocklesh anyway?
Sweetie(s) given
on 23 November 2005 at 10:08
Twin2: Mummmmmy!
Sweetie(s) given
on 23 November 2005 at 11:13
“Yep.”
Sweetie(s) given
on 23 November 2005 at 11:30
(the curse of the younger brother – mine did it too!)
on 23 November 2005 at 12:13
Sweetie(s) given
]]>
https://www.belgianwaffle.net/2005/11/469/
Long Night
The remainder of the night went as follows:
12.30 FINALLY persuade the boys to go to sleep for the night.
1.30 Well, not for the night, obviously, feed them again and pray.
2.30 Boys wake up again and are anxious to play.
3.30 Boys wake up again and are fed.
4.50 Princess wakes up and demands a bottle and that I lie beside her. As I am singing “rock a bye baby” hear roaring from our bedroom. Finish “rock a bye baby” and depart.
5.00 Feed the boys AGAIN and hope that they will now sleep.
5.30 Boys are drifting off to sleep. Realise that I cannot remember the last time I changed them. Change them and wake them up. Castigate myself for extreme idiocy.
6.00 Boys finally go to sleep.
7.00 Princess wakes for the day and promptly prods her brothers awake.
on 23 November 2005 at 15:57
Gulp. I’m sure you’re fed up with the “how do you do it?” comments but – how do you do it?
on 23 November 2005 at 17:22
And she still finds the energy to blog. Now that’s true dedication.
kristin
(Homepage)
on 24 November 2005 at 02:21
Oh dear. If i weere a 20six-er, i could give you a bunch of sweeties, but since i’m not, i’ll just hand you a cool cloth for your head. and possibly your bb’s. and i know you don’t celebrate, but it’s thanksgiving day here, tomorrow, so just be glad you won’t be called upon to do all of the above and produce a 20-lb turkey with all the fixins. kisses and sleeping pills for all. ???
on 24 November 2005 at 09:12
Wow, a sweetie bonanza. Thank you ladies and, er, ladies. Hunter came home from the neighbouring Grand Duchy last night and was greeted with ecstasy.
Put Upon
Parent 1: I’m going to clean the kitchen.
Parent 2: Yes, why don’t you have a little break?
Other things that now constitute a little break: putting out the bins, washing teeth, having a shower.
Comments
If you want a holiday, I have a lot of housework to be done…
Bobble
Waffly, you have my utmost respect and admiration x
giftofthegab
and he’s still alive? mine politely suggested i tend to some laundry of his this morning. i am plotting his downfall as we speak.
Diva
Men are barking mad! ;o)
belgianwaffle
A number of you are making sexist assumptions in relation to who said what..
poggle
But are they right?
belgianwaffle
Um, yeah, but he does the laundry..
poggle
Gotcha. Hee hee.
sarcastic journalist
(Homepage)
Break in my house also constitutes going to the grocery store.
belgianwaffle
Smart pog.
SJ, that IS a break.
Lilo
I’m the same – and I’d add having a pee to my ‘having a little break’ list.
belgianwaffle I come back “Daniel was on 25 November 2005 at 13:27
You get to go on your own???
to the dinner table from the kitchen to find Princess sitting in solitary
splendour, Michael in a bouncy chair and Mr. Waffle and Daniel gone.
“What happened?” I ask her.
sick on Daddy. On his trousers and on
his t-shirt and on the floor” she gestures expansively “and Daddy say ‘fuck!’”.
Sweetie(s) given
on 25 November 2005 at 13:41
Sweetie(s) given
on 25 November 2005 at 15:53
Sweetie(s) given
on 26 November 2005 at 06:02
What would it be of this world without little Princess remarks? She’s so lovely!! 🙂
Regards, Mr. & Mrs. Waffle.
(And make some silly funny faces to the lovely princes from me, please ^^)
Sweetie(s) given
on 27 November 2005 at 17:32
Sweetie(s) given
on 28 November 2005 at 11:03
Sweetie(s) given
on 28 November 2005 at 16:23
Bless!
Sweetie(s) given
on 28 November 2005 at 16:30
Sweetie(s) given
on 29 November 2005 at 15:45
Sweetie(s) given
on 29 November 2005 at 16:21
Sweetie(s) given
]]>
