My sister
and I spoke on the phone during the week.
Round I
Me: YouÂ’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.
Her: Why?
Me
(triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!
Her: What?
What?
Me: I
dropped Michael.
Her: Oh
God!
Me: Not
very far and on to the sofa, he didnÂ’t like it much though.
Daniel poos.
Me: Did you hear that?
Her: I was trying to ignore it.
Me: That
was your nephew doing a poo.
Her: Too
much information.
Me: But my
life is full of poo at the moment.
Her (tartly):
But mine doesnÂ’t have to be.
Me
(grudgingly): Fair point.
Round II
Me: I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other
night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your
clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the
programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell meÂ…
Her: No.
Me: Why
not?
Her
(crabbily): I havenÂ’t seen you much
since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I
got my nose bitten off.
Me (even
more crabbily): Have you any idea how
hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?
Her (hastily):
Anyway, I havenÂ’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.
Me: ItÂ’s
still all the same.
Her: Pregnant
silence.
Me: Oh I
see.
Knock out
Her:
Anyway, IÂ’ve got to go, I have a meeting.
Me: But you
canÂ’t go, IÂ’m stuck under two feeding babies.
Her: Sorry.
Me
(desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio
is off.
Her: Gotta
go, bye, talk to you soon.
I spend the
next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying
to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.
Friar Tuck
on 21 November 2005 at 17:58
on 22 November 2005 at 09:19
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone.
Sweetie(s) given
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