Things I cannot eat because I am diabetic:
Anything sweet
Fruit (sweet, alas)
Bread, rice, pasta, potatoes
Also, I must eat six small meals a day rather than three large ones and do you know that after I see the diabetic doctor on Monday, I will have to prick my finger a number of times a day to test my blood sugar? Oh goody.
Things I should eat because I am anaemic:
Revolting iron tablets
Red meat
Lentils
Liver
Things I cannot eat because I am pregnant:
Shellfish
Pâté
Salmon
Raw ham
Raw eggs
Liver
Rare meat (well done red meat is just a hard and depressing lump on your plate)
Unpasturised cheese (i.e. anything remotely interesting, I have had it with babybel)
Everything else in the world because I suffer from constant heartburn
The upshot of all this is that I spend my time eating steak and salad and, oh yes, lentils, lots of lentils. I am essentially on the Atkins diet and it works, I am losing weight (as is Mr. Waffle incidentally, my mother is appalled, she thinks it’s a searing indictment of my wifeliness). But I don’t want to lose weight. I need to gain weight. And I am trying. Kind Mr. Waffle produced a cucumber salad for me. Delicious, ok for
pregnant, anaemic diabetics and, as I said to him, so fattening.
“Really?” he asked, delighted. Oh good Lord. I look very odd. My stomach is enormous but the rest of me is pretty thin. I am developing twiggy little arms. I look a bit like someone rather skinny who’s stuck a large basketball up her jumper and is pretending to be pregnant.
The next person who says to me: it must be great to be pregnant because you can eat anything you want will be shot.
And did I mention that I’m still throwing up?
Comments
NorahSplog
on 01 September 2005 at 12:47
I bet you’re really missing your raw eggs.
NorahSplog
on 01 September 2005 at 12:50
Oh, and my Pa has recently been diagnosed diabetic and been given a finger pricky thing. All the family’s had a go and it really doesn’t hurt. I think my Pa has become quite obsessed with checking his blood sugar and probably does it more times a day than is necessary (but then he is a man, and is consequently delighted to have something ‘real’ wrong with him).
Minkleberry
on 01 September 2005 at 13:13
Belg, I really really feel for you and can’t even think of any ‘bright side’ things to say-which is probably for the best as bright side things are just bloody annoying anyway. Will you be unanaemic and undiabetic when the twins emerge?
belgianwaffle
on 02 September 2005 at 08:52
Pog, you are very kind. Do email, if you get a chance. Do you know what I found myself thinking this morning – I wonder what pog’s haircut is like? How weird is that? Norah yes (please note cold tone). And you are clearly tough as nails, you Splogs, for reasons I won’t bore you with, I had it done last night and it does hurt a bit. Oh, I am so ready for the pain of childbirth. Minks, thank you. And yes. And it looks like I might be able to have some more carbohydrate which would be very nice…beachhutman on 02 September 2005 at 09:52
Poor old Waff. Well, not Old, obviously. Nor poor I s’pose. Anyway, huge symps.
Is that Bread or wheat? Rye bread?
(I always find it better to be still throwing up, otherwise it goes ……..)
beachhutman
on 02 September 2005 at 09:54
Norah is supposed to be trying to give away more sweeties, but becuse you can’t enjoy them she didn’t. Here’s one she could have given you. (you can save it for later)
poggle
on 02 September 2005 at 10:37
Okey dokey – will type ’em up and send later today, lovely. Oh, and my haircut is very short and kind of scruffy ….
Lilo
on 02 September 2005 at 12:18
h God – poor you – on both the diet and the chucking up front. Fortunately my days of feeling sick all the time finished after about week 16, I’d be very fed up if I was still feeling sick now.
Minkleberry
on 02 September 2005 at 13:53
I hope there is a very big box of chocolate biscuits waiting for you on the other side of the delivery room. And I’m still throwing up aswell- but at least I’m throwing up chocolate and crisps!
poggle
on 02 September 2005 at 13:58
Have mailed you. But I think I missed a bit in the drop-scones recipe. You need to drop spoonsful of the batter into a lightly-oiled, preheated frying pan – I generally makes them about 3″ diameter – they do spread a bit and rise. Hope you like ’em.
beachhutman
on 03 September 2005 at 23:36
Ah Pog, “quelle beaucoup” as Del would say. The recipe man, the recipe! cest all important, guarded carefully down the generations. A man must do the thing a man must do with the drop scones, and the iron pan, and the warm teatowel. Ah, it is so good. The cream, the jam, the ritual.
belgianwaffle
on 05 September 2005 at 09:08
BHM, oldish, poorish (due to weight of doctors’ fees). On the bread/wheat question, not really sure, am woefully ignorant about my condition alas. Thanks for Norah’s sweetie though! Pog, your haircut sounds fab. Very envious. Mine is short and motherly, kind of early Princess Di. Very distressing. Thank you for your recipes – you are most virtuous. Am entirely baffled by BHM’s comments on same but doubtless they make sense to you? Lilo, well, it’s not as bad or as frequent as earlier throwing up, so you know, alright really. Noble sigh. Minks, there better be. I have added the words “prepare goody bag for wife on giving birth” to Mr. Waffle’s to do list.
poggle
on 05 September 2005 at 11:17
BHM has not looked on ‘Munch’ or he would’ve seen that my drop scones are not of the traditional, sweet variety. Although those those are also very good – just no good for you at the moment as you’re off the wheat and the sugar. (At least, I think that’s what he’s on about.) As for the haircut, I had to resort to wearing girly tops with my jeans this weekend to avoid being chased around the pub by scarey women. It might be just a leeeeetle bit too short …
belgianwaffle
on 07 September 2005 at 08:20
Hey pog, you are all knowing, yes, I see what you mean about the scones. And the hair, very trendy and um, it will grow.
poggle
on 07 September 2005 at 10:15
It’s not growing quite fast enough. So today I am wearing a cute little smocky top (very ‘summer of love’) with my best jeans and kitten-heeled sandals. And dangly earrings. And lippy. I’m not sure anyone’s convinced, though.
belgianwaffle
on 08 September 2005 at 08:55
They LOVE it – appealing to both sexes.
