Mr. Waffle

Plague Diary – Part VI

19 April, 2020
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Hodge, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Easter Sunday, April 12, 2020

Today was the Princess’s 17th birthday and, it’s fair to say, it’s not quite how she imagined spending the day.

That said, it was a present rich birthday and she got lots of cards and messages on social media from her friends. I loved the birthday cards she got in the post from friends who had clearly never addressed an envelope in their lives. We’re all learning.

As I may have mentioned, we are taking part in an extended family bake off competition. We decided to have the bake off cakes ready for a birthday tea for herself in the afternoon. The day was spent baking. We were exhausted by the time the birthday tea came around. It felt like Christmas day. But, frankly, we did an amazing job.

Herself organised an egg hunt for the boys. It was eggcellent. Ah, go on. Their aunt had posted Easter eggs from Cork which showed real forethought.

We had a very mild walk. The Princess brought with her the disposable camera she had requested for her birthday. She’s keen to take pictures that Apple won’t see first.

A birthday post on herself is in gestation. Hold on to your hats.

Monday, April 13, 2020

We were exhausted after the previous day’s baking and didn’t get up to much.

Everyone set about and did his or her bit on the cleaning rota the success of which has been surprising and very pleasing indeed.

We broke our mop and Mr. Waffle attempted to repair it but a good hour of drilling and cursing noises did not ultimately lead to success. Will we be able to get a new mop in lock down? These are the kind of pressing questions we considered today.

The other family members are a bit worried we may have slightly over achieved on the family bake off. Was the promotional video too much? Herself said anxiously, “Are we the baddies?” I feel not, just keen, very keen.

I finally achieved nirvana by being double booked for zoom calls (bookclub and family bake off both at 8.30) which my brother managed to do far earlier in the pandemic process. Yes, I am competitive in all sorts of weird and unusual ways. Your point?

Herself told me about her friend whose parents are divorced. The friend’s father is a doctor and her mother is abroad. So he is at work all the time and the friend is at home alone and even when he gets home they are social distancing. All her social media posts are asking people to stay home so that she can get her family back. How miserable is that? It did make me count our blessings all over again.

Michael and I went for a lovely cycle in the park. Even he didn’t hate it which is as good as I’m going to get.

Judging took place in the family bake-off. It was tense but, ultimately, the judges (one per household) decided that everyone was a winner. Admire our promotional video prepared by herself.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

At 8 in the morning, herself and myself cycled off to the bakery and picked up our online order. It was within our 2km radius but still a bit of a trot, so I felt filled with virtue (and also croissant) when I sat down to my desk at 9.

Work was busy but better. It turns out that I am a creature of habit. This comes as a genuine surprise to me and certainly, were they aware of it, would also to people who have interviewed me over the years (“I thrive on change and a dynamic environment*”). I’ve found that as I’ve got used to the new reality and working from home, I’m getting a bit better at creating routines and managing. Here is my working day:

9 At the desk checking what fresh horrors are in my email.
10 Almost always some class of ghastly conference call
11 Little break, cup of tea, dragging the boys from their beds, exciting domestic task like unloading the dishwasher
11.30 Slave some more in the salt mines
1 Lunch (if prepared by Mr. Waffle, 1.30, if prepared by me)
1.45 Walk alone around the block (v. exciting)
2.15 Almost, invariably, another conference call. Hideous.
3.15 Further unbroken saltmining.
5 Determination by me that today, yes today, I will finish early and play tennis with Daniel, cycle with herself, force Michael out of the door etc.
5.01 Exceptionally urgent email arrives forcing me to postpone my plans.
6.30 Finish work for the day. Realise that exceptionally urgent matter could really have waited for the morning.

Actually, today, I had a grand old chat with a female colleague. She is the only other practising catholic I know at work (I mean there are obviously lots of others but short of asking it’s hard to find out) and we confided to each other that we both missed Holy Week celebrations. I never thought that the day would come.

The rat catcher came this afternoon to break up the day. We have given up faith in Rentokil who never came back after their initial visit and the man from around the corner with the Jack Russell is now our operative of choice. He put rat poison outside as he said that we didn’t want rats dying in the house. Frankly, I don’t see what’s to preclude them coming in post-poisoning, if they have a means of entry which I really hope they don’t. The good news, said the rat catcher is that we don’t have tongue in groove flooring so it will be easier to take up, if necessary. It’s hard to see this as really good news. Everyone in the household was reminded of this National Geographic article which herself told us about a number of years ago and which is…memorable. Pray for me.

Hilarious email from SuperValu offering us a priority delivery slot on Wednesday week. We have a scheduled delivery for Thursday week which we ordered three long weeks ago (only date available at the time). Email is like something from a secret society:

Unfortunately, we canâ€™t guarantee youâ€™ll get a slot as theyâ€™re available on a first come, first served basis, but this gives you the best chance of securing a slot. That means itâ€™s crucial that you do not share this information with anyone else.

The power has clearly gone to their heads.

Meanwhile the boys went up to the local public tennis courts for a knock around but they were locked. Alas.

*I promise I have never actually uttered those ghastly words but that was often the gist of my responses.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

I failed to get up before work for any kind of exercise and I regret this. The working day unfolded in its normal way.

Small walk at lunchtime. Not much to report.

Our sourdough starter arrived and this inspired the Princess to, yet again, beg us to watch the life changing documentary on fermentation she watched a number of years ago. As the proud owner of a sourdough starter, I felt it was time. The documentary “Cooked” was on Netflix. “It’s only an hour,” said she. It started. “Oh yes,” she said, “it starts with fire.” We watched a lot about fire. It wasn’t uninteresting but we had been promised fermentation. “When does the fermentation start?” I asked. “I feel like we’ve watched an hour already and it’s only been fire.” It turns out we had watched an hour and it’s a four part series. Fermentation tomorrow then. The excitement.

Herself had an article published in an online magazine. I am not allowed to read or see it.

In case you care, you can buy a mop in Tesco. Mr. Waffle is refusing to throw out the old mop. I’m a bit unclear about what his plans for it are.

Thursday, April 16, 2020

The Princess and I went for a cycle in the park before breakfast. It was delightful but hard to get up.

Work is becoming more normal and manageable, partly thanks to my exciting daily schedule. Sadly, though, due to an extra conference call, no walk at lunch time. Alas.

We are all living for the excitement that is our fermenting sourdough starter. We’ve already given some away to the neighbours (it keeps growing).

The boys set up and ran an online dungeons and dragons type thing with their friends. They’re learning lots of new skills.

We watched the fermentation documentary. Who knew chocolate was fermented?

Friday, April 17, 2020

I was on a half day and finished work at 3. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t a classic half day which, ideally, starts at lunch time.

Herself is delving into the deeper, obscure depths of cooking. We had an egg yolk sitting in the fridge surrounded by salt and sugar for the week. Today it was hung up to be air-dried for three days. Then you can grate it over pasta and other foods and it will give a lovely umami flavour. Allegedly.

It’s very odd and currently hard as a bar of soap. I’ll let you know about the umami.

Herself has also taken to lurking on sourdough forums on the internet. Our starter seems happy and maybe this weekend we will make bread with it. All to play for.

We got a sushi making kit and she is currently exploring the joy of vegetarian sushi.

Daniel and I went for a bike ride in the park which, despite his protests, I think he quite enjoyed. Both he and Michael are becoming ludicrously large for their bikes and I see an expensive time ahead as we will have to buy them both proper adult bikes post-pandemic.

Saturday, 18 April, 2020

We got a ridiculously expensive breakfast box delivered. I feel we need to keep our spirits up by having little treats for ourselves. It was plugged in last weekend’s Irish Times. Herself and myself were looking forward to it all week. It was not great. The pastry was stale, the juice was watery and the baguette was fine but you know, only ok. Still, we quite enjoyed looking forward to it all week so we might try for another treat next weekend. I will keep you posted.

In other online purchases, we bought our sourdough starter from these guys: kefirgrains.ie. It is the business and we are delighted with our investment.

I subscribe to an online publication called the Browser. It’s an internet highlights thing and I like it. I have two three month subscriptions to give away, if you’re interested, send me your email and I will sign you up.

I got sent a chain mail thing on the internet. Normally I never send these on but it was sent to me by someone I’m quite fond of and I quite liked the idea of getting poems to my inbox. I sent it on to 20(!) people with some qualms and a cover note advising recipients to ignore, if they could not face it. I felt a bit bad. Herself opined that I was overthinking it. Perhaps. However, did it soothe my guilty conscience to see this article by an Irish Times journalist indicating that she had got the exact same chain email and did it make her feel good, gentle reader? It did not.

It is apple blossom season.

Herself has cut her own hair.

I am in the process of sending mortuary cards to people who sympathised when my mother died and came to the funeral and removal. Given that she died last June, this is not before time. It’s a more difficult exercise than you might imagine as you need to dig out addresses and think what to say and so on. I remember a couple of years ago, after my uncle died, my aunt was quite sick in hospital. I went to visit her and all she could talk about was how the mortuary cards for my uncle hadn’t been sent out. I told her not to be daft that nobody would mind, if they were never sent. I don’t think it was much comfort and now I know how she felt: this task has been positively looming over me for months.

Mr. Waffle, the boys and I went for a cycle in the park. We’re all a bit bored of cycling in the park at this stage. But, good for us, I daresay.

We had a quiz over zoom for people living on the road. It was technologically successful with 9 households taking part. Daniel stayed to help his parents but the other two weren’t interested. Their loss, as we defeated the opposition to become the first reigning champions. First prize is organising next Saturday night’s quiz. Oh well. We’ll be offering sourdough starter as a prize.

I was talking to my sister and I said that the first thing I am going to do when quarantine is lifted is go down to Cork. “I don’t know when I’ve been away for so long,” I said. “But you were here last month,” she said. I was really surprised, but so it is. Time is stretchy in quarantine.

Finally, we’ve decided on our treat – we are getting a projector and screen. We hope to be in a position to inaugurate next weekend, deliveries permitting. Fingers crossed.

How’s quarantine with you?

Plague Diary – Part V

11 April, 2020
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Work

Monday, April 6, 2020

There’s a bit of a problem with tenses in my plague diary. Some of it I write live on the day (mostly, but not always, present tense) and some I write in retrospect a couple of days later (mostly, but not always, past tense). What I really need is a good editor. What I’ve got is me, so sorry about that. Never mind, onward.

Professionally this is a happy day for me. Three weeks ago, I agreed to keep a watching brief on a colleague’s area while he was on an extended holiday. Can I tell you that this is not a good time to hold a watching brief? He has returned to the (virtual) office today and I am filled with joy.

First of the online birthday presents purchased for herself arrived. Like the shopping it’s gone to decontaminate in a plastic box in the shed for three days (it’s also hiding out so that she doesn’t find it early). Is this excessive? Who knows? I asked the man who delivered it what it was like out there? “Just the same, really,” said he, “except the traffic is a bit quieter.” It’s going to be a bumper birthday for herself on the present front as we all feel pretty sorry for her. I said this to her and she said sadly, “I just want to be with my friends.” I said that this just underlines how much more important people are than things but it was perhaps not the moment for my philosophical gems.

We signed up to delivery of the Irish Times and our first copy arrived. I was filled with delight. It was not put in the plastic decontamination box for three days (to be fair it arrived in plastic so, ok, I suppose?).

The orthodontist finally called back. There is nothing they can do. I could wish they’d called last week when I needed them but better late than never, I suppose.

It’s the most beautiful morning and herself went off for a cycle in the park. I’ve agreed to get up early tomorrow and go with her before starting work.

Another busy day at the office. Mr. Waffle repaired the basketball hoop in the garden. I had been smugly congratulating myself on getting it installed so it was inevitable that it would fall down.

Mr. Waffle, herself and myself went for a cycle in the park. The boys played basketball in the back garden. The hoop fell down again.

It’s seven years this month since we moved into this house. I don’t think I have ever been more thankful (and I am pretty pleased with this house almost all the time, let me tell you). If we were still in the old house, I think we might all have murdered each other by now. I do feel for families, particularly families with small children, in smaller houses or houses without gardens, this lock down must be particularly grim for them.

I had my Monday night online book club after dinner which was satisfactory. The book club is now officially book free. One of our members has three siblings who are doctors: an anaesthetist, an A&E consultant and a professor of epidemiology. We were instantly curious about the epidemiologist “How is she getting on?” we asked. “Very busy, ” said our book club member “but she said that on the plus side, for the first time, our parents believe that she has a real job and even understand what she does.” We’re all amateur epidemiologists now, of course.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

The Princess and I went for a cycle in the park at 8 in the morning. I felt filled with virtue when I sat down at my home office desk at 9. Not sure I’ll be able to keep this up though. Possibly related: I am constantly ravenous. I’m not sure why but my regime in the office seems to involve a lot more food. I can’t wait to end my Lenten fast and start eating biscuits again. A cup of tea and a cracker is no substitute.

I had my lunch time walk and saw a bumblebee. The weather was absolutely beautiful.

My sister has been told that she will be working a four day week for 10 weeks. She seems fine with it.

Herself attended a virtual birthday party for a friend. Cheering.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

The Princess and I went for our early morning cycle again. It was hard getting out of bed but I was rewarded by an overwhelming sense of smugness. The cycle was nice too. Another beautiful day.

But all the days do feel a bit the same. Work was a little trying.

In our exploration of our neighbourhood 2km zone, we found a community garden with an impressive artichoke supply.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Another day at the home office. Work was a bit difficult. The clichÃ© which has gained traction (also a clichÃ©, in my work world things are always gaining traction) in the crisis is that we must all “put our shoulder to the wheel”. It is driving me crazy, I mean for one thing, that is several shoulders. I had intended to take next Tuesday off but, alas, it was not to be; I will be putting my shoulder to the wheel. Still a four day Easter weekend beckons and that’s very welcome.

The home office is not as wonderful as I thought it would be. A bit stressful. I was on a conference call this morning and herself and Mr. Waffle wandered in looking for the Pears encyclopedia having decided that the internet was insufficient to meet their needs. She said aloud, ” I was wondering whether the Chaldean Christians are in communion with the Church of Rome.” Answers in the comments please. What can I say, we’ve all been learning new things. It gave others on the call a slightly misleading impression of the standard of conversation in our house. Earlier we covered extensively, “Why won’t people wipe down the table after breakfast?” and that’s probably a bit more representative.

I’ve completely fallen off the wagon in relation to phone use. I was down to about an hour a day and I dutifully put it away for the evening when I came home from work. Now I find myself keeping it in my pocket all evening and checking it a bit obsessively. As of today, I am going to try to go back to normal and put my phone from me in the evenings. I can’t help feeling that it will help.

When I was out for my lunch time walk, I saw a poster produced by the city council advising people to respect social distancing. I see that they did a Polish version as well. I don’t remember seeing that kind of information notice in anything other than English or Irish before.

I finished work about 6 and went out for a celebratory stroll with Mr. Waffle and herself. All of our local parks are becoming very familiar. But it’s a nice time of year to walk in the park and the days are getting longer.

The basketball hoop broke again.

After some initial technical difficulties, I had a reasonably successful zoom call with my siblings but my sister told me that she was working for 15 minutes while my brother and I had a free and frank exchange of views about the demands my father is placing on my sister. He likes her to call to the house every day, my brother says she shouldn’t, I say she should do what she feels is best, we both have strong views. The object of this discussion was not very focussed on our conversation, clearly, but it’s good for her to know that we care. My father is improving, you will be glad to hear. The upshot of this was that I had my phone in my hand at 10 at night and then spent hours mindlessly scrolling. Alas.

Good Friday, April 10, 2020

The office is closed so not only am I not working but no one else is either. So no stream of unsatisfactory items is being delivered to my inbox. Welcome.

Herself and myself cycled to a bakery to get flour (delivered in a brown paper bag) and nice bread. We passed an open flower wholesaler on the way and stopped to buy flowers. He was closing at 10 so we got in just before he closed. At her request, I bought her a bouquet of thistles for her birthday. Yes, I know. I asked the florist whether things were slow and he said that normally they do a lot of Easter flowers for churches and this had fallen off but some churches are live streaming Easter mass and wanted flowers so it hadn’t been too bad. V exciting to interact with a non family member even at a safe social distance.

The trendy young man at the bakery said, as he handed over our various purchases on a cardboard tray, “I love your flowers, thistles are my favourite.” Honestly, the young people.

After lunch, I painted eggs for Easter and made a wreath. I am very proud. I see these items playing a role in the montage for the extended family bake off competition.

Presents from online vendors have been rolling in for herself. I spent an hour of my life I will never get back on to eBay trying to work out what had happened to a package. It turned out that Mr. Waffle had received it from the courier and hidden it safely in the shed without opening assuming it was something he had ordered. Questionable bonus, I now have an eBay account.

The Department of Education announced this afternoon that the Junior Cert (State exam taken after three years of secondary school) is off. It went from on to off and back on and now finally off. I really feel for Daniel who has been gutted, relieved, gutted and now delighted. It’s been a roller coaster. Michael who is also scheduled to do the Junior Cert this summer is indifferent. And the Taoiseach announced that we’re all to be in lock down for another 3 weeks. That’s a good long time. Maybe time to sort my bookshelves which, frankly, could do with it.

This picture uses internet trickery to put all the bookshelves together but they are scattered around the room and surrounded by piles of books. The books are two deep on the shelves and somewhat alphabetical but it is almost impossible to find anything. I am generally a pretty tidy person and inclined to organise and throw out (my family believe I’m a changeling, my mother felt that perhaps I got it from my Granny – is tidiness hereditary?) but books are my Achilles heel.

Herself has gone off cycling again. She goes out for an hour almost every day – sometimes two. I feel that it’s really good for her in a range of ways. It’s good for me too when I work up the energy to go with her. Mr. Waffle repaired the basket ball hoop again.

To round off a fun evening, Mr. Waffle and I cleaned out the fridge. Ticking off lockdown objectives like there’s no tomorrow, frankly.

Yes, we do get through a lot of milk.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

I have bought a sourdough starter online. Who even am I? I am doing a lot of online shopping. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m trying to buy stuff from smaller Irish companies to help spread a bit of money around and keep things afloat in my own small way.

I am filled with energy today as I managed to cast the phone from me yesterday evening about 7 and stayed away from it all evening. I was tucked up in bed at 11 and today I am bright eyed and bushy tailed. And possibly a little tiresome for the children. We’ve begun baking for the family bake-off. We’ve decided to have everything ready for tomorrow to eat at a birthday tea for herself. Notwithstanding the undoubted eating capacity of this family, I predict many baked Easter gifts for the neighbours.

Mr. Waffle’s hot cross buns:

My meringues are a work in progress, and I am cautiously optimistic.

And I’m making bread as well because this is the kind of person I am now, apparently. Did I mention my sourdough starter?

Further gardening: it was a lovely day for weeding. Myself and herself went to pick up a box of pre-ordered delights from the local organic etc market. It turned out that they were not very well organised and we ended up queuing for an hour to pick up our pre-paid for goodies. With social distancing the queue wended its way around the building and through the unappealing concrete car park. It was blisteringly hot and I had failed to put on sun screen. My very responsible teenager had done so. “Why do you need to? We won’t be outside,” said I when she was spraying it on. Anyway she sent me to sit in the car so that I wouldn’t be burnt and I was suitably grateful. After this queuing in the Tesco underground car park was a doddle.

When we got home, we had tea in the garden to recover from our outing and sampled Mr. Waffle’s hot cross buns. They were excellent.

I have a gratifying feeling of being up to date with domestic admin, last experienced when I was pregnant with the child who will be 17 tomorrow.

We went out and shone lights at 9 possibly for front line workers; possibly for ourselves as we all had a grand (socially distant) chat on the street.

Plague Diary – Part IV

5 April, 2020
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Work

Monday, March 30, 2020

We are definitively all working from home, you need a letter to come in and only three people in our division are deemed indispensable and happily I am not one of them.

My sister managed to spring my father from hospital. I was so relieved and delighted. He’s not very well but at least he is out of Corona virus central. Quarantining is complex. My brother, who lives with my parents, is in one part of the house and he is in self-isolation after his return from France. My sister is moving home to look after my father and go into isolation with him for a fortnight after his exposure to the virus (March 19). They will be in another part of the house and disinfectant wipes will be a big part of everyone’s lives.

After work, on Monday evening we went and played basketball on a local court en famille but Daniel is so much better than the rest of us that it is only fair if we play 4 against 1 and even then, he’s more likely to win.

I had my Monday night book club online. Another win for the bookclub. Nobody talked about the book and only one person had read it. Nevertheless we are moving from a monthly to weekly bookclub for the duration. We did this via Microsoft video conferencing which I declare to be less satisfactory than zoom.

I tried to set up a zoom conversation with my brother and sister for later in the evening but my brother refused to take part as he was meeting up for virtual drinks with his friends. Where will it end?

The hook which holds the elastic on the Princess’s teeth snapped off and the wretched orthodontist did not reply to emails or calls. My own dentist replied with admirable promptness and texted me immediately to say that his view was that she should take off all elastics and her treatment would be extended for however long the crisis took although he caveated he was not an orthodontist. He is sensible though. She is gutted and also has put blue tack on the sticking out hook to reduce the pain. Miserable? Miserable.

Herself said to me that Whatsapp is a very panicky medium and never was a truer word spoken. My phone is filling up with worthy middle class, middle aged suggestions for myself and my children to achieve online during the crisis and it is mildly stressing me out. Meanwhile Daniel’s GAA team have been given a series of exercises to do every day and his team mates are posting themselves doing the exercises to the Whatsapp group. This is stressing out poor Daniel.

Mr. Waffle finished Daniel Defoe’s “A Journal of the Plague Year” and said it’s not great. Reading the hard books so we don’t have to. Despite considerable pressing by me, no one is willing to read “The Siege of Paris” even though I read out some of the best bits over breakfast. Possibly becuase I read some of the best bits out over breakfast. Not feeling much up to new books so picked up “The Grand Sophy” by Georgette Heyer for a reread and was pleased to see that my mother had written her name and March 1965 on the flyleaf and I thought fond thoughts of her picking it up for the first time 55 years ago.

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

Mr. Waffle found what he thought was another dead rat in the utility room. On closer examination he felt it was some cooked food the cat might have scavenged from a bin. In any event he disposed of the…item and cleaned the floor with bleach. Did I mention that while I am in stately isolation in the study/dining room, Mr. Waffle is working in the utility room or the rat hole as we now know it. In my defence, I am videoconferencing all the time.

When you have 2 adults and 3 teenagers using broadband for class streaming, video conferences and other internet related excitements, you have mediocre connectivity at best, it turns out. We’re all learning. The Princess’s English teacher failed to show up for class leaving them all sitting there like digital lemons.

We made more bread.

Herself made chocolate cake from the neighbours’ hens’ eggs. We gave one cake to the neighbours. We’re not savages. Yet.

For an outside exercise break, I made Michael clip the hedge. I am justifiably proud of my efforts.

Mr. Waffle reorganised the contents of the random chargers box.

Mr. Waffle and I went for a walk and admired the deserted streets of the city. Not that deserted, actually.

I can see a lot more of this kind of fascinating content being available.

Wednesday, 1 April, 2020

God, work was absolutely frantic. Michael missed a zoom class for school. The Princess’s teeth continued sore and no sign of the wretched orthodontist calling. My bread failed to rise. I had a little cry as it felt like I was failing at work and at home. It was a low point. I was somewhat cheered by this video.

Thanks to the neighbourhood whatsapp group, I now know the names of everyone on our street and the DVDs and books they have available to share. GDPR, how are you?

At the end of the day, Mr. Waffle, herself and myself were going to go for a walk but I skipped it to deal with the latest work crisis. Possibly a mistake.

My sister’s company might put her on a three day week. She’s reasonably philosophical.

We’re all a bit worried about my mother-in-law in her nursing home. My brother is finally out of quarantine after his trip to France.

Rentokil did not turn up. The neighbours explained that they had come last week to lay poison and now they are coming back for the corpses/to check if it worked and it seems this is less urgent. But yet.

Thursday, 2 April, 2020

On the whole, a much better day. I started putting my work mobile on silent over lunch and it improved my life by 100%. At lunch time I walked to the bottom of the road, alone in the rain and it felt like quite the break. Dear God. The days all feel a bit the same. I never thought I would miss going in to the office, but I do a bit.

My sister skyped with my father and me. A much more successful operation than I had imagined possible. He looks a bit beaten down by his hospital experience but it was really nice to see him.

The Princess, Mr. Waffle, Michael and I went for a walk while Daniel slaved over his books – he seems to be getting a lot of homework. Michael went back after 10 minutes having been forced out so, at least Daniel had company.

We found another dead rat in the garden. The rat plague is like a Greek chorus to my pandemic woes. You’d be surprised how many people have had rat problems, may I say?

In other good news we got a partial refund for the money we’d paid for the Princess’s school tour to Barcelona having already gloomily written it off.

Herself is testing out new make-up options.

We’ve started watching an Australian series called Rake with the children. It’s deeply inappropriate but it’s the only thing we all like so we’re going to stick with it. Judge away.

My father finished his quarantine, he officially does not have the virus and my sister got to sleep in her own bed so a win all round.

Friday, 3 April, 2020

Work continued busy but I was on a half day and got to take it which was terrific. Herself made pancakes at 4 and we all sat down and ate them. My sister’s company is not moving to a three day week after all, apparently. She’s taking the chopping and changing very calmly.

Mr. Waffle, Daniel and I went to play table tennis and then I went off for a cycle on my own which was calming.

Saturday, 4 April, 2020

We skyped my mother-in-law in the nursing home. Not a great experience for her I feel but we sang from our repertoire of songs and she seemed somewhat appreciative.

There was more hedge cutting. The garden is going to be amazing when this is over.

Online preparations continued for what herself is referring to gloomily as her “quaranteenth birthday”. She’ll be 17 on Easter Sunday.

She and I went for a long cycle in the park together and really enjoyed ourselves which was a surprise to both of us.

We played online games via zoom. Some unhappiness but basically a success, possibly to be repeated.

More eggs from the neighbours. I see further cake making in our future.

Sunday, 5 April, 2020

It’s so odd not to be going to mass on Palm Sunday and the prospect of all the Easter preparations without setting foot inside a church.

At the initiative of my sister-in-law in London, we’re having a family bake off competition to conclude on Monday, April 13. There had better be prizes for everyone is all I can say. Also, special prize for anyone who successfully uses coconut flour.

Online Sunday book club again. Satisfactory. Also a quick walk with Mr. Waffle. No exercise for the boys. Alas. On the plus side, we all did our jobs on the cleaning rota and the house is spotless.

Herself maintains she hears rats under the floorboards in her room. Surely not?

I’m afraid all this content is dull. But things are dull and a bit stressful, I fear. How is your own quarantine going?

Plague Diary – Part III

29 March, 2020
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Friday, March 27, 2020

I dropped into the office about ten to pick up some papers but there was much grief and heartache and I ended up stuck there until ten to six with only a vile chicken tikka wrap from the Spar to sustain me.

I find I’m a bit tired all the time and every evening I have a nasty tension headache. I suppose it’s the uncertainty and general worry.

Our cleaner can’t come any more, obviously, and I told the children that a cleaning rota would apply from this weekend. This was met with a very lukewarm response.

I spoke to my 90 year old aunt on the phone and put Michael on to her as I thought it might cheer her up. I rethought matters when I heard him say to her, “If you stay at home, I’d say your chances of survival are relatively good.”

My sister got a call from the hospital at 8.30 in the evening and got a nasty shock when a nurse said to her, “I’m calling about your father.” However, it turned out that he was out of credit on his phone. I don’t see how he can use up his credit but my sister thinks it’s mostly from calling her and accidentally putting her on hold.

The Taoiseach announced that we are all going on further lockdown. All feeling a bit grim. Herself showed me the Italian mayors video and it cheered me up enormously.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

I went out to the garden to admire my compost bin in its new location. Stretched on the ground adjacent to its old location was a dead rat the size of a small rabbit. This is on top of finding a rat in the utility room a couple of weeks ago. I am beginning to wonder should we call in Rentokil. Would they come? Mr. Waffle says that a man from a nearby road is a rat catcher (who knew?) and he walks down the lane at the back of our house every day with his terrier. All I can say is that they are not doing a great job. We have had major building work on the other side of the lane and perhaps they were displaced? Anyhow, this one had clearly been killed by the cat so that, at least, was welcome.

Daniel and I went out to play tennis. It was within 2 kms of our house and it was brief (we only played a set) but I wondered whether it was allowed. However four guards passed us while we were there – two walking and two cycling – and they all nodded approvingly at us. So, ok, I suppose?

Aer Lingus cancelled Daniel’s flight to Paris and, unsurprisingly, won’t refund us but we can have a voucher to use on flights in the future. I suppose there will be a point when that will be welcome.

I was on to my friend in Paris whose daughter has asthma and she is really worried. The hospitals in the ÃŽle-de-France are full. A 16 year old girl has died. They haven’t left the house in 10 days. They get their shopping delivered; they hand a cheque through the letter box (curious, online payments do not seem to really have taken off in France) and the delivery is left outside. They take it in; wash their hands; put the cold stuff in the fridge and leave the rest for a couple of days before using it. Her husband has lost his job – he works for a small firm so not a great time, I suppose. I’m sure he’ll find something when this is over but how long might that be?

Meanwhile my friend in America who is a doctor is very gloomy. When I asked her how things were in her hospital, she said, “Dire and getting worse.” Her husband, also a doctor, will be 50 on April 1. Not a great time as she pointed out.

On the plus side, Mr. Waffle managed to get flour in the supermarket and we made not one but two kinds of bread. They both look a bit burnt but they actually tasted quite nice.

Our next door neighbours with chickens called to say they had left eggs on the doorstep and when we got there, there were 8 eggs. We need never be short of an omelette in the crisis. Particularly since we already had a dozen in stock.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

The clocks went forward. Hurrah

Notwithstanding this, it was a grumpy kind of day. I had pinned up the rota of household tasks and myself, the Princess and Mr. Waffle dutifully did ours but the boys stayed in bed until 2 and when they got up went into a joint online dungeons and dragons thing. When they had finished, Daniel said he had to do lots of homework and couldn’t do his jobs. I was cross and had some harsh things to say about his organisation of his time. Michael offered to do Daniel’s work as Daniel was very stressed about homework. I thought that perhaps my rigid approach was not making anyone’s life happier especially poor Daniel who, to be fair to him, is a hard working and obliging child.

Mr. Waffle and I went out for a walk around the block. When we came back, everything was a bit better. I think there’s probably a moral there.

I had an online meeting with my Sunday bookclub which I really enjoyed. We did not discuss the book but we did cover what everyone is doing for alcohol in the crisis. As a non-drinker (largely), I was tempted to say that I am still off sweets and biscuits for Lent and it is killing me. But somehow, the moment didn’t arise. They’re all doing fine for alcohol, you will be pleased to hear.

The hospital said that they might discharge my father tomorrow. His temperature is normal. Hope springs eternal.

When we were out, we ran into the next door neighbours (not literally, social distancing etc) and thanked them for the eggs. I mentioned the dead rat. “Ah,” they said, “we should have said, we have Rentokil coming on Wednesday. We’ve found a couple (!) of dead rats and so have the neighbours on the other side. We think they’re displaced from the building site behind the lane and they’re attracted by the food the hens kick out of the coop.” The hen giveth and the hen taketh away. Anyhow, Rentokil will be dropping in on Wednesday. In the interim, herself tells me that she has heard a definite scratching noise under her floorboards. Oh Lord, could I ask that we be delivered from a plague of rats in the midst of our Corona virus lock down? Would that be too much to ask? I am still maintaining my Lenten fast, I would like the universe to know that. Meanwhile, Mr. Waffle is contemplating setting up a rats whatsapp group.

In what has undoubtedly been the best WhatsApp message since this started, someone pointed out that the ISS was clearly visible in the sky this evening. We all stood together in the front garden and watched it pass through the clear evening sky. It was lovely.

Plague Diary – Part II

26 March, 2020
Posted in: Cork, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Siblings

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Mr. Waffle pointed out that yesterday was the Spring equinox and from now on days are longer than nights. Just as well.

It’s my first mother’s day without my mother. Here we are looking arty in 1969.

My sister visited the grave today and planted some flowers but she fears that the dandelion is king. Alas.

Still no Sunday mass. It’s so strange. Daniel and I went to play tennis instead but all the courts were occupied with two sets of people waiting to go on. There were four young people playing football on one court but I lacked the moral courage to do anything about it so we just gave up and went home.

Mr. Waffle and I swept the patio and cut back the foliage; something that made me ludicrously happy. Welcome to the land of middle aged thrills.

We went for a walk in town dutifully socially distancing. Temple Bar was the emptiest I’ve ever seen it.

On our return home, my loving family made me afternoon tea and gave me flowers. Very satisfactory. Herself made brandy snaps. I love a brandy snap.

Mr. Waffle is reading Daniel Defoe’s “A Journal of the Plague Year” and I am contemplating re-reading my book about the fall of Paris which I remember as being impressive on life under siege in 1870. I feel sure I will find some bons mots with which to enthrall you all. So far, all that has happened to plague diary man is that he can’t decide whether to leave London or not.

My father continues to improve in hospital and if he doesn’t catch this wretched virus, he should be discharged home safely shortly.

In other news, my hands feel like scaly lizard mitts from constant washing.

Monday, March 23, 2020

I went into work. Town was absolutely deserted. The office was pretty empty also. We’re on a rota.

Behold a city centre street at 8.15 on a Monday morning:

Brown Thomas (department store) was encouraging us to pull together in Irish.

My father was tested for Coronavirus and came back negative. The hospital said that he could be released home. My sister did Trojan work with the discharge co-ordinator. My brother was already in self-isolation in my parents’ house after coming back from France the previous Tuesday. Even though he had tested negative, the hospital said that my father would still have to go into isolation. My sister said she would move home and mind my father and she and my father and brother could divide the house between them into separate self-isolation zones. My sister pointed out that neither she nor my brother would be able to go and give my 90 year old aunt her pills and her carer has, ominously, a cold. So, unless, they could find someone else to cover, I would need to come to Cork, stay in my sister’s house, not see my father or my brother and sister and check on my aunt every day. I stood ready, given how much my poor sister is doing but I was relieved when they found someone locally.

Britain went into lockdown and my three year old niece in London who has always been pretty dubious about outside as a concept was the happiest child in England. Her parents are sending us regular footage of her ongoing delight at being indoors with both parents all the time which are very entertaining.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

I worked from home in the morning. The technology continues to work really well although I am already tiring of the video conferencing. Mid-morning, herself and myself walked up to a local shop to buy nice bread (no joy) and the owner said that he was closing the following day for an indefinite period. I hope he comes back.

I was in work for the afternoon. There was much running around and reading the runes after the Taoiseach’s speech further shutting down the country. Was everyone’s presence in the office essential? Could we all be set up to work from home? Apparently we could. Then possibly we could but some presence was essential (as someone said, “my indecision is final”).

Meanwhile, my sister managed to get a radio and headphones into the hospital for my father. He had been having a miserable time as the light was too poor for him to read and he was too deaf to listen to the radio without blasting everyone in a 2 mile radius. Our woman on the inside (my aunt’s cleaner who also works as a hospital cleaner a couple of days a week) went and set him up and put on his headphones. He was delighted but now there is no chance of him ever picking up the phone when I call.

I noticed that I was beginning to lose track of the days of the week without the anchor of regular schedules.

The libraries which have been stellar in the crisis (audiobooks, ebooks, you name it) reassured punters that it didn’t matter when they brought back their outstanding loans. In some ways, not as reassuring as they may have intended.

I used up the last of my dinner candles. And (unrelated) still no flour available in the shops.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Herself began to paint her ceiling.

I did not think that the city centre could be emptier than the day before but I was wrong.

It was finally decided that we did not need a full-time presence in the office as everyone was tooled up to to work from home and the technology worked like a charm.

It was my father’s 95th birthday and, notwithstanding headphones, I managed to get hold of him and wish him a happy birthday. He was cheery at the prospect of discharge on the following day.

Herself completed her ceiling painting. I understand that further decoration is to follow, if the paint ever dries. She is currently marinating in paint fumes.

We got a communication from the school that they were engaging with the insurance company to get back the money paid for the school trip to Barcelona. I know this is very #mymiddleclasshell but here are the things we have booked and paid for this year which it appears after some engagement with insurers will not be refunded:

Ski trip last week (very bitter);
Daniel’s trip to Paris at Easter to stay with friends;
The Princess’s aforementioned trip to Barcelona at Easter (if Mr. Waffle can get no money from the insurers, I have no confidence that the school will be successful);
A weekend in Northern Ireland in April for myself and Mr. Waffle (actually, I think they might let us change to later in the year);
A fortnight in Germany for herself in the summer;
Family holiday to NY and LA in the summer (is there some chance this might go ahead? I am not loving our chances at the moment).

Still, as a young colleague pointed out to me, everyone has something. Another colleague told me dolefully of how he and friends had flown to Vietnam only be turned around and sent straight back to Ireland on the next flight.

A professional singer who sang in the adult choir at our church has died. He was in his early 70s, I’d say and very sprightly although a bit superior. Funerals are now small family affairs so we didn’t attend and I don’t know anyone who did. In the current circumstances rip.ie (a resource without which etc.) now has a load of comments under condolences and I see that the poor man seems to have died from Coronavirus. Grim.

I made the whole family watch “Daybreakers”. Only two stars on Netflix but who doesn’t like a high concept film about vampires that’s slightly schlocky (Mr. Waffle apparently).

Not having watched the news in years, I am now avidly consuming the nine o’clock news every night. Everyone hates it but me.

All of the neighbourhood whatsapp groups set up to help us through the Coronavirus are going crazy. So far no one has taken up the many offers of shopping for elderly neighbours and people are offering each other DVDs and books to swap. I suppose we all feel like a bit of community engagement.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

I worked from home. I dragged the boys out of bed about 11. They were stoic. Michael as his daily exercise cut the hedge and swept the path. I was quite pleased. Inspired by his effort, this evening I pursued my long held dream of moving the compost bin. Quite difficult but mission accomplished.

We got bad news from my sister. My father had a temperature and they wouldn’t let him out of hospital. Public health said no and public health are basically running the country now. My sister spoke to my father who is not a particularly emotional person and she said that he said his heart was broken. I feel so sad for him but fingers crossed it’s nothing serious and they will release him next week. I think we’re all a bit terrified he’s going to die alone in hospital having cannily managed his health for so long but maybe we are all unduly pessimistic. I certainly hope so.

At 8 this evening everyone in the country was encouraged to stand outside and clap for the health service. I am very grateful to the health service but I thought it was a fairly stupid idea. I forgot all about it but at 8 I was sitting inside and I heard this thunderous clapping, I went to the front door and there were all the neighbours up and down the street standing at their front doors clapping away and I joined in, somewhat sheepishly. It was surprisingly moving.

Tell me your own plague updates.

Illness Stalks the Land

8 March, 2020
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Mr. Waffle

Daniel was quite sick a fortnight ago. He had a really high temperature and was miserable. Now, I can’t help wondering whether it was the wretched Corona virus but he had an upset stomach as well and no cough, so maybe it was just common or garden flu.

In what I hope is unrelated news, Mr. Waffle found a large dead rat in the utility room. It is our fervent hope that the cat brought it in to the house rather than that it died of natural causes in our utility room having lived a full and happy life in our house. You will recall that Mr. Waffle has form in thinking quite large rodents are not rats. He was in no doubt about this corpse.