Mr. Waffle

Another One Down

28 March, 2021
Posted in: Belgium, Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, March 22, 2021

I’ve got nothing. No recollection of what happened on yet another Monday in lock down.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

An elderly woman who was born on our road and has been a very active member of the local residents’ association went into hospital a while back. Mr. Waffle heard that she has cancer and then had a stroke so she is going into a nursing home and not coming home from hospital. It’s so sad. She was always in her front garden, sweeping the path or hanging over the hedge chatting to someone. And when she dies, we won’t even be able to go to the funeral. Very depressing.

On Daniel’s Tuesday course, he and his group did something in 70 lines of code whereas all the other teams had at least 120 lines. Apparently fewer lines is better. I tell you this lest you too make the same kind of tactless remark as me based on an understanding that surely more is better.

Herself went to the orthodontist and he has finally, finally said that he is going to take off her braces in June. This has been a complete marathon. I really regret going in to the process in the first place. Her teeth were fine really. I blame the Americans.

We watched a German film about the devil’s daughter who is staying with a nice family and trying to tempt their teenage daughter. Lots of school vocabulary, very speedy dialogue which was challenging but good for all of us.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

The State Examinations Commission issued new exam guidelines and apparently, inter alia, the Shakespeare question in English will be optional this year. Herself was delighted and she likes Shakespeare. She had two outstanding King Lear essays and felt that now the teacher would no longer want her to complete them (spoiler alert: the teacher still wants her to do the essays).

I felt a bit unwell when I got home from work so took myself up to bed at 8.30. Poor Michael had made a very nice risotto for dinner and was cast into understandable gloom when I merely pushed it round my plate and then departed for bed. Herself said reproachfully that if I had Covid, she wouldn’t be able to do her orals.

Thursday, March 25, 2021 – My father’s birthday

I woke up feeling fine (not Covid, then). This would have been my father’s 96th birthday. I thought about him a lot all day. A friend sent me a card offering perpetual masses for my father and mother and I was amazed how pleased I was. Am I going to become obsessed by religion in my old age?

At school, herself did mock Irish and German orals. The former was more satisfactory than the latter. Her lovely German teacher, looked out the window during the class and said, “Oh I see a bunny in the yard, let’s go outside and see if we can all see him.” She’d bought them all Easter eggs and put them in the yard. This class of 17/18 year olds were delighted which is quite sweet.

Daniel’s GAA coaches ran a zoom games session and they played 2 truths and a lie and he had such a good time. Poor Dan, fun is in short supply these days. I am very grateful to the coaches who organised the whole thing. They have day jobs and I can’t imagine that spending time organising an evening of online games was great fun for them.

Friday, March 26, 2021 – Last day of school before the Easter holidays

Herself had her actual Leaving Cert French oral. She sat 2 metres from the examiner with two sheets of perspex between them, the windows open and both of them wearing masks so I think risk of infection was low. In fairness, her French is good so it all passed off peacefully and she was glad to have the first real exam experience out of the way.

I had a good long Skype call with my friend in Brussels. They’re about to go into lock down again and she is quietly resigned.

I ordered from Uno Mas for dinner. It’s a sister restaurant to Etto which I love but I just didn’t like it as much. I mean it was nice but assembly was tough and nearly floored me. Highlight was waiting to pick it up and singing along with herself to Dolly Parton (“Here you come again” – how does she know this number? Dolly is very popular with the young people, it transpires).

Daniel, Michael and I watched “The Return of the King” which we all enjoyed hugely. Mr. Waffle drifted in and out making slightly snarky comments. He is not a fantasy fan. We had our revenge when he thought it was surely over and there was a final half hour of return to the Shire.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

A day of high drama. Herself came into my room at 9.15 fully of adrenaline in advance of her Leaving Cert oral Irish exam. We sang Dolly Parton (reliving the previous day’s excitement) and she danced around the room. Both her brothers came to the bedroom door having been inadvertently awoken by our antics at this early hour, “Either the singing or the dancing but not both,” said Daniel wearily.

I dropped her to school. She was nervous but she’s good at Irish and she was well prepared. She did the oral and it was the exam of dreams. It went really, really well. She noticed as she was leaving the room that the recording was only ten minutes. She was surprised and raised it with the teachers. It turned out that there was a fault in the recording software and it had cut everyone off after ten minutes. All of the earlier candidates had to be recalled and she had to do her exam again. Her Irish teacher said that it was the worst thing that he had ever heard of happening in an oral exam and he would use her as a cautionary tale for future generations of students. She was not very comforted by this. Anyway, she did the exam again and it went fine but not as well as the first time. The exam recordings have to be sent off to the State Examinations Commission and, apparently, they only mark what they get so it was really fortunate that she spotted the problem as if she hadn’t everyone in the school would have been marked down. She was a bit wrung by the whole thing.

I took to her to Lidl and Tesco to buy Easter tat: thin on the ground. I thought she might find something she would like but no joy. There weren’t even any mini eggs. We made an Easter wreath out of bendy branches and I stuck it up in the hall.

Herself picked the film night film. It was a Senegalese film called “Atlantique” which was largely in Wolof and won a prize in Cannes. The children really enjoyed it. I want to be the kind of person who finds a film in Wolof about the situation of African emigrants fleeing to Europe in death trap boats ideal Saturday night viewing but I’m not. I found it hard going. Before the twist, I dozed slightly. I woke up after the twist and it did improve but, lads, I can’t recommend.

Sunday March 28, 2021 Palm Sunday

I’d completely forgotten that the clocks were going forward (it’s bright outside at 8pm as I write). At least we avoided trooping in late for 11.30 mass. Mr. Waffle and I went for a walk and got rained on but it was not as unpleasant as that sounds. We passed a church with piles of palm outside the door so we picked some up.

Top tip on making your Easter wreath: make sure your bendy tree is not one whose leaves die after a short time indoors. This was the wreath yesterday, maybe not terrific but, you know, ok:

Today, alas, it was dead and positively funereal looking. Back to the drawing board:

My apple tree branch continues to be a source of delight though, so there’s that.

Update me on your own week, ah go on, do.

Hail Glorious Saint Patrick

21 March, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday, March 15, 2021

I got an exciting package from the relatives in London containing a Cork poster for my birthday. Very thrilling.

We were all very excited to puzzle out this extraordinary translation of washing instructions on a new scarf that herself got. My favourite touch is the apostrophe in necessaire.

Translation below.

The fifth years are back in school and herself is outraged having very much enjoyed having the building open to sixth years only.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

I took the day off work as it’s a quiet week with Patrick’s Day in the middle. It was a beautiful day and Michael and I went for a cycle in the park in the morning. Mr. Waffle and I cycled out to Chapelizod and had a look at the weir in the afternoon. It was an excellent outing by pandemic standards.

One of the boys’ teachers from primary school rang me out of the blue to say that the church where they were baptised was trying to get in touch with us. Odd. I had a grand old chat with the teacher anyhow. She was asking after all of the children which was nice; she herself is absolutely delighted to be back in the classroom even though she has junior infants this year and I can’t help but imagine social distancing must be difficult. Anyhow, I contacted the church – they had lost the boys’ baptismal certs but with some information on dates, they managed to locate them. So much for the Catholic Church’s extraordinary record keeping or, alternatively, it’s an impressively elaborate scam to get the boys’ data.

That evening we went into town and looked at the buildings lit up in green for Patrick’s Day. Low levels of enthusiasm but it was something a little different.

I made everyone listen to “Hail Glorious St. Patrick” in the car on the way home.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021 – St. Patrick’s Day

After the excitement of Tuesday, this was a quieter day. I thought about my father saying that when he was a little boy, the first time he really understood the passage of time was when he put his St. Patrick’s Day badge in a drawer and then a whole year passed and he was able to use it again. Not perhaps one of his best anecdotes but, it transpires, unforgettable.

Mr. Waffle, Daniel and I went to the Botanic gardens. I mean, fine, spring has sprung and half of Dublin was sitting on the grass enjoying the fine weather. There were pictures out from a photographic competition and I think it’s fair to say, that we were all more excited about this than we would have been in peace time.

Herself is preparing for her various oral exams and is concentrating on her German oral. We watched a dreadful cookery show called “Wer kann, der kann” as practice. Would not recommend although I am slightly intrigued by this review from the Hindu that I found online.

In the midst of it the cat started making the most appalling growling noise in the kitchen. Herself went to investigate and found that the cat had caught a mouse. Mr. Waffle was out and herself, reading the situation quite correctly, decided that I was useless and ran to put on her shoes, get a plastic bag and dispose of the mouse corpse. When she got back it was to see the horrifying sight of the cat bolting the mouse down starting at the tail. On the plus side, it was definitely a mouse and not a rat. Oh Lord, this is the year of vermin. The cat was delighted with herself.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Daniel was on dinner and he decided to make pizza. I picked up some burrata at lunch time at considerable expense to make salad to accompany the pizza. Mr. Waffle picked up some Lidl mozzarella for the topping and Daniel was a bit dubious about its quality. In fact, it was fine. Then Mr. Waffle took some of my beautifully curated salad, “I see what you mean about the Lidl mozzarella,” said he, “It isn’t really very nice.” I was fit to be tied.

Herself pointed out to me that I am not a restful companion and I keep hopping up and saying, “Right” and putting them all to work. This arose when I got up after dinner and said, “Right!” and all the children moaned, “Not ‘right'” which I found perplexing until it was explained to me.

Friday, March 19, 2021 – Mr. Waffle’s Birthday

Mr. Waffle is a hard man to buy for but he seemed reasonably content with his presents. His sister in London starred by getting him a signed copy of a book he was already interested in. She knows the author. The glamour.

Dan had to go to the physio and Mr. Waffle took him (his knee is a bit sore but it’s not serious you will be glad to hear). While they were gone, I sprang into action, taking from their hiding place the ingredients to make the classic rice krispie birthday cake. I made it, I washed up after it and I hid the cake before he came home. You can imagine my ire when Mr. Waffle noticed that there was an extra half pack of rice krispies on the shelf. Sigh.

Mr. Waffle and I took our faithful Pevsner guide and continued our exploration of Dublin. He quite fancied exploring Temple Bar. Normally he loathes Temple Bar as it is full of tourists but he thought he might like it in lock down. He was wrong. It was the most spectacularly depressing outing. It’s become a day time hang out for Dublin’s homeless population. There were people who looked really sick from drugs pale, yellowish skinny faces; people drinking in corners and people wandering aimlessly making quips about us walking around with our guidebook (we were quip worthy, I concede). Honestly, it felt like some kind of scene from one of those post-apocalyptic films; it was really sad but also, not relaxing.

When we got home, herself had returned from school. She did a mock French oral at school. It went well.

I had ordered a birthday dinner in from Etto and it was really excellent. And then we had the rice krispie cake. What’s not to love?

We also talked to the Londoners who had moved house that day and so had actual, live, bona fide real news. We got a tour via Skype of the new house but I can’t wait to visit in real life.

Saturday, March 20, 2021

The cleaning rota was deployed again. We all hate it but most of us think it’s worth it.

Herself and myself have started watching a German series on Netflix called “Zeit der Geheimnisse”. Honestly, I think it would be confusing in English but we are dutifully watching in German with German subtitles (oral prep) and all the twists and turns are definitely keeping us on our toes.

Ireland won in the rugby beating the old enemy, perfidious Albion. Daniel was pleased. My brother watched it in Cork with two friends who have been vaccinated. This is in breach of the rules but I haven’t the heart to blame him.

For film night, I had planned to bring to the audience a three hour epic (and indeed had paid Mr. Waffle’s money to google play to rent it) but dinner was late and I switched horses mid-stream and rented “Little Miss Sunshine” and put that on instead. Everyone loved it and came in at a handy 1hr 42 minutes. It came out in 2006 and Mr. Waffle swears he has never seen it before but who did I see it with then leaving him to mind our 3 children under four? A mystery.

Sunday, March 21, 2021 – Vernal Equinox

I have no idea what I did today other than a lot of walking around the block. I see that a certain anti-lockdown spirit is animating local fly posting.

I also agreed to play a board game with the boys. They were merciful to their father and me and the game they picked was short and not very complicated, it’s all we’re able for. Herself and myself had more of our Netflix German secrets show. Very tiring; she had to get out a piece of paper and draw a family tree for us to follow it.

Let me have your lock down news and, pretty specific this one, if you have a recommended series in German on Netflix, let me know.

International Anne Week

14 March, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Hodge, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday, March 8, 2021 – International Women’s Day

Every woman I know was inundated with invitations to online conferences. Of the three I was invited to, I went to the one from 6.30 to 8.00 in the evening. The timing didn’t seem particularly right on but it did suit me. I watched from home. Herself came and joined me. It was a good panel and interesting. One of the speakers was an older colleague at top management level. I thought she was pretty good but herself said, “She sounds exactly like you, I would not pay for those insights, when I get them for free at home, all the time.” Make of that what you will. One of the speakers was joined by a baby on her lap and the moderator’s small children could be heard roaring in the distance, “Their father is supposed to be keeping them under control,” she said through gritted teeth. Herself tells me that in the lectures that became “A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf, spoke of the “other women who are not here toâ€“night, for they are …putting the children to bed.” Plus Ã§a change eh?

Tuesday, 9 March, 2021 – Birthday Eve

Daniel had his course so was online all day doing Engineering. Roddy Doyle came back to Michael’s online English class to give the 13 children who were there his further advice on their writing work for about an hour. Honestly, the man is a saint. Michael said he answered all their questions and chatted away to them and they really enjoyed it.

I saw this sign outside a restaurant in town. Unintentionally accurate.

That evening marked the deeply unwelcome return of the school parents’ council meetings. The principal is long winded man and have you noticed that however long someone is in person, it is as nothing compared to how they get into their stride in online meetings? We were given some video footage of the outdoor classroom. If you ask me, even set to music on video it looks pretty bleak.

A former colleague sent me birthday flowers and chocolates out of the blue. It was such a lovely surprise as completely unexpected. I think everyone is trying to do more of this kind of thing. It was very nice to be the beneficiary. And due to the fact that the house is freezing, they’re lasting really well.

Wednesday, 10 March 2021 – Happy Birthday to Me

I took the day off work and woke up to driving rain. Alas. Mr. Waffle and the children provided presents and cards which I graciously accepted as my due. Some birthday cards came in the post; loads of people sent messages by text and email. I was delighted with myself. I do love to celebrate my birthday.

Mr. Waffle and I braved the elements and went out to buy the ingredients for a delightful afternoon tea. We returned to the house with our buns and fancy bread and cucumber to find that Irish Water had turned off the water due to a leak and it wouldn’t be back until six that evening. Alas.

The boys got messages about their Leaving Cert subject choices. Daniel is ok but Michael really wanted to do History and Geography and they are timetabled back to back. The perils of a small school. He’s decided to do Geography in school as he knows all the specialist vocabulary in Irish already (igneous and metamorphic rock anyone?) and History outside school. We’ll see how it goes. Herself had the exact same problem and ended up doing Art in school which she enjoys, so that’s something, but which is not, perhaps, her strongest subject.

So a slight pall cast on my day due to Michael’s understandable gloom and the absence of cold water in the taps, but never mind.

I collected herself and her bike from school. She greeted my arrival with unalloyed delight. In the latest news, it appears that following union directives teachers can no longer give test marks or sight of corrected scripts to students. She despairs and, I think, so do her teachers.

Anyhow, crucially, when she got home, she set to co-ordinating my afternoon tea and making brandy snaps (a firm favourite of mine – she makes an excellent brandy snap). This left me time to appreciate the flowers my sister had sent me. Very pleasing.

Afternoon tea of champions:

The tea had to be made with hot water from the tank but no one appears to have suffered any ill effects.

Then after dinner there was cake. My husband and his ability to take a lovely photo of his wife, people:

And a zoom call with my brother and sister who had clubbed together to, very generously, get a blue book voucher, which I really hope to be able to use this year. My sister also supplied various unguents for my aged body. It turns out that all the perfumes of Arabia can sweeten this little hand. Since my brother set up the zoom call, I got to enjoy the sensation of waiting for admittance to my own party, as I told him, once I was let in.

All in all, a good birthday.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

I paid for my fun on the previous day with a rather frantic day at work. Still, well worth it. Mr. Waffle was presented with a social dilemma. While he was out, one of the neighbours dropped by a bottle of wine to say thanks for the bike. We had given away three bikes and Daniel could not say which of the three men had dropped in the bottle of wine. One of the three is a mild media personality and Mr. Waffle showed Daniel some pictures of him in action and, happily, he was able to confirm that this was the wine donor. Life is full of difficulties.

Friday, March 12, 2021 – Covid Anniversary

It was this day last year that the Taoiseach announced from Washington that the country was going into lockdown and that we were going to have a very odd St. Patrick’s Day. There has been lots of “one year on” commentary in the media but I’m not sure I have a lot to say other than, it’s been long. I am simultaneously deeply bored of my 5km limit and the sameness of it all and very used to what I notice people are no longer calling “the new normal”. I know it could be worse but somehow that doesn’t make it a great deal better.

The wind knocked some branches off one of the apple trees in the back garden. I put them in a vase and now they are putting out blossoms. I am delighted with myself. Now that I’m 52 these are the kind of roller-coaster thrills I’m enjoying all the time.

To make up for the dreadful picture her father took of me I spent a happy time with herself taking selfies with the various filters available to me in my new iphone. I love this one with the contour filter wherein I look amazing but, as herself pointed out, she looks like she’s made of plastic. Look, as I said to her, win some lose some.

Herself and myself talked a bit about this poor woman who was murdered in England. V depressing to think that so little has changed for women’s safety since I was the same age as she is now. I tell her the same things as my parents told me and I don’t like her going out in the dark alone.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Herself was a bit down so we went out on our bikes to the local shops. We were both cheered by a trip to Lidl. Sigh.

The cat welcomed signs of spring.

Mr. Waffle and I went in to Capel Street with our Pevsner guide. And it was grand and mildly interesting and all but I’m not sure a wander up and down Capel Street in the driving rain on a Saturday afternoon is living my best life but, I can tell you, I know my Wyatt windows from my string courses now.

My sister gave my aunt the animatronic cat. Notwithstanding my sister’s description of it as “rather creepy”, my aunt seems to be delighted. We will follow developments with interest. Did I tell you that my aunt got her first Covid jab? Well, she did and she seems to be fine. So good news there.

Sunday, March 14, 2021 – Mother’s Day

There’s a little fatigue amongst the troops after my birthday but, nonetheless, a card is produced and herself bought a bunch of flowers as did her father. I now have four bouquets and my blossoming branch. Delighted with myself.

I went for a walk round the block while my sister did likewise in Cork and we talked on the phone and admired signs of spring in our respective locations.

Mr. Waffle, the boys and I went for another walk after lunch and then Daniel and Mr. Waffle settled down to watch the rugby (Ireland v Scotland, Ireland won!) and Michael scuttled upstairs to continue his game of Crusader Kings III (he has spent many months expanding his empire); and herself continued dolefully with her studies.

As ever, I am anxious to hear news from your own lockdown, bated breath etc.

Onward March

7 March, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, March 1, 2021 – Birthday alert

March is the month of birthdays. My mother-in-law on March 1, my brother-in-law on March 3 (a round number this year), my nephew on March 5, my godson on March 8, me (crucially) on March 10, Mr. Waffle on March 19 and my father was March 25. He would have been 96. That’s a lot of potential birthday to forget. March is always a month of high alert.

Herself had her first day back at actual real school as opposed to online learning. She thought she would love it but she did not. Apart from anything else, the school is freezing as all the windows are open and the heating is not on. Then they have to have lunch and assembly in what is euphemistically called the outdoor classroom but, more realistically, might be called a shed.

The boys got their school reports which we have yet to discuss with them but all broadly positive – the online thing is working out better this time around. Daniel is really looking forward to getting back to school on April 12. Michael is not so sure.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

I had an early start on Monday morning so missed seeing the primary children going back into school. On Tuesday morning junior infants to second class were heading back in to the two schools at the bottom of the road and it was lovely to hear them scooting, running and cycling in.

The boys had an online TY experience at a law firm which a friend of Mr. Waffle’s kindly arranged. Like all these things, it wasn’t as good as an actual work experience module but made a welcome change from their other online experiences.

They had to choose their Leaving Cert subjects. There was much humming and hawing and what they actually get depends on timetabling but neither of them wants to do Art, Tech Graphics or Biology, everything else is pretty much up for grabs.

Wednesday, March 3, 2021 – 51 years and 51 weeks old (me) and round number (brother-in-law)

Mr. Waffle gave herself a lift into school. I went in to Michael’s room to bid him farewell and attempted to comb his hair (now long flowing locks last cut months ago – he’s not a bit believer in the brush and comb himself). He was quite annoyed as he was on his online TY work experience. Unfortunate. But he turned his camera off almost immediately, so no lasting psychological harm done.

After school Mr. Waffle collected herself. As she said, “Imagine my horror when I saw him wheeling my bike. I looked and looked for the car but it was not there.” He said brightly, “I walked up to the school with your bike so that you could cycle home.” She was not as thrilled as he had expected.

Over dinner it transpired that some months ago I had disposed of a pile of old Dandy magazines which had been gathering dust in Daniel’s room for years. It would be fair to say that tensions ran high and Michael and herself were most displeased. I blame Mr. Waffle who innocently let the cat out of the bag.

Thursday, March 4, 2021 – World Book Day

We got our windows cleaned. It just wasn’t as good as last spring where getting the windows cleaned was one of the highlights of lock down 1. The window cleaner had been in Love Hate and had his scene on his phone which he played for Mr. Waffle so there was that. It’s a rough time for the arts, lads.

On the way home from work there was a really violent fight at the end of the street. I was on my bike and quite unnerved. Myself and another woman in her car shouted at the men kicking another man on the street and I called the guards. It was all a bit grim. There seems to be an uptick in crime. A couple of times local children have been set on by gangs of teenagers on bikes at about tea time. I feel it’s some of the consequences of lockdown frustration, boredom and anger spilling out on the streets. I wouldn’t say I’m enjoying it.

Friday, March 5, 2021 – Nephew’s Birthday

Herself and myself went out to get a crÃªpe before she went to an online get to know you session with her college in England. I am not delighted that she is going abroad but at least the process has distracted her from her other woes. There were older students on the call to give advice about practical questions like food, accommodation and getting around. Herself reflecting her father’s family’s obsession about towels asked whether you have to bring your own towels. You do.

We rang my nephew to wish him a happy birthday. He’s 15 and hilariously, sounds exactly like his father on the phone as we realised when we were talking to both of them on speaker. Look, we get our thrills where we can these days.

We had dinner from Bastible which was recommended by a friend. It was very good but, as herself said, “I’m getting a bit tired of take away where there’s a lot of assembly work.” I mean the food was great and the assembly wasn’t too bad but it definitely was assembly.

Saturday, March 6, 2021 – The Departure of Throck Morton and the Return of the Cleaning Rota

This day marked the return of the cleaning rota. Our cleaner hasn’t been since before Christmas and though we had been doing bits and pieces on an ad hoc basis (bathrooms and hoovering – dusting had definitely fallen by the wayside), it was time for a thorough overhaul. The house is now cleaner than it has been since December. Rejoice.

A man came and put spikes on the chimney and now the pigeon (the children called him Throck Morton after some internet thing) which has been a feature of the Princess’s life since last April has been finally excluded from paradise. Farewell Throck, gone and, frankly, not regretted.

Mr. Waffle, Michael and I cycled into town and home again by different routes testing out the new cycle infrastructure. Improving, in fairness.

Herself had additional maths class in the morning followed by additional Irish class. We’re definitely in full “the Leaving Cert is coming” mode.

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Mr. Waffle and I went into Fitzwilliam Square with our architectural guidebook.

It was sunny and pleasant but the guidebook does not have a great deal to say about the house exteriors.

A very nice resident who was walking her dog told us about her planning woes and lent us her key to go into the private park in the centre of the square which is for residents only. Pretty pleased with ourselves.

A good friend of mine lived in a basement flat on the square about 25 years ago and I found myself reminiscing fondly about that really great flat. Herself and her flatmates went on to have successful careers and I feel that if I had it in me I’d love to write a novel based on this premise. I’ll hand it over to my sister-in-law the novelist although she says that people spend their time telling novelists about great plots for their novels so maybe not.

Our friend in the Netherlands is going to be 50 in the autumn. She emailed Mr. Waffle that she plans to have a party. I immediately said that we will all go. Mr. Waffle says we may not all be invited. If so, the children can hole up in the Airbnb with pizza but as she has four children of her own, I’m sure she won’t mind. Mr. Waffle was less sure. Anyhow, I was very buoyed up and excited at the prospect. A life after Covid, people.

After lunch I took the children for a cycle in the park which was not entirely satisfactory. We’re all a bit bored of the park. But look, it was exercise. While we were gone, Mr. Waffle re-oiled the work surfaces in the kitchen. A job that needs to be done late in the evening so that it can be left to dry out overnight we have discovered. As I type he is cooking dinner in there hoping not to be overcome by the fumes or frozen (the back door has to remain open). We live and learn.

Any lockdown news of your own?

Springing Forward

28 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Work

Monday, February 22, 2021

I continued to be crippled from my weird neck pain. My only comfort was my new top which had arrived in the post. Herself took one look at it and said, “It looks like scrubs.” And it does. I got a physio appointment that evening and though work was a bit frantic, I managed to sneak away like a thief in the night and get to my physio appointment. The physio thought my top looked like scrubs also. After some reasonably effective pummeling she sent me on my way and said she would email me exercises. On the plus side, I was home by daylight.

Top like scrubs: I’m afraid it’s only too true:

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Notwithstanding the effective physio, I found myself walking around like a turtle with my neck stuck out in front of me. The exercises arrived by email and I vowed to open them as soon as I got a chance. I got soaked cycling home from work in the lashing rain and the fence dividing our garden from the neighbours blew over. It was announced that Leaving Cert students would go back to school from Monday along with junior classes in primary school. Herself was broadly pleased. The boys were delighted with the news that they will be the last group back on 12 April.

We also have a Leaving Cert exam timetable. The excitement. To be honest, I’ve lost track as to when this arrived but recently anyhow. The certainty on exams is making things a bit less awful for herself. I hope that it will all go according to plan.

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

The Irish Times published a Sudoku supplement. They know their readers. I recently got the hard one out for the first time. Delighted with myself. Yes, this is where I am at. Your point?

They also published the latest road map for us to stick up on the radiator. As herself said “We have road maps for countries that never existed.”

For a smart girl, herself would surprise you on occasion. She said to me, “I’ve just realised that that story in the Bible about the workers and the vineyard was a parable.” “What did you think it was?” I asked. “An example of poor labour practices,” she said.

While we were dealing with matters religious she also said, “This family has eaten 14 creme eggs since the start of Lent, is this the spirit of the season?” Indeed.

Thursday, 25 February, 2021

It was an absolutely beautiful day and we all felt cheered. Next door’s plum tree blossom is out and it is, as always, a delight.

Friday, 26 February, 2021

Another beautiful day. My wellness pack arrived from work (I know what you’re thinking). There are some issues with the masks included.

Herself and myself went to the outdoor container for tea in the park (such are the available thrills) and I fielded slightly frantic calls from work. The boys and I then sat down to watch “The Two Towers” which is pretty lengthy but we’re committed now.

Saturday, 27 February, 2021

The weather continued to be absolutely beautiful. Michael and I cycled to the nearest patch of sea, contemplated it and cycled home again.

Ireland finally won a rugby match trouncing Italy. Daniel was delighted. I talked to my sister on the phone and when I asked for her news she said not to expect much as she was “leaning in to the pandemic low news bar”. I like to think that my blog has been doing this for some time.

Following emails all week telling me to open up the email from the physio and do my exercises, I opened it. It was all very swish. I had to download an app and there were videos of my exercises and a tracking yoke. I’m now dutifully doing them. I’m largely back to normal with the occasional twinge so a win, I suppose.

We watched Detective Pikachu for cinema night (Daniel’s choice) and, ok, it wouldn’t have been my first choice but, I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen worse.

Sunday, 28 February, 2021

Yet another beautiful day. Mr. Waffle and I had a very pleasant cycle to a park I had never been to before other than to drop Daniel off to training. Signs of spring were everywhere and not a moment too soon.

On our way home, Mr. Waffle took me down a little cul de sac to show me a delightful old Protestant church I had never seen before. It’s dedicated to St. Mobhi (of whom, I expect you’ve never heard) but he was teacher to the stars including (big name here) St. Colmcille, St. Canice and St CiarÃ¡n of Clonmacnoicse; a veritable who’s who of early monastic names. Hoping to get back and get inside when things re-open.

As we were cycling home, we ran into a friend of mine from Monday night bookclub and her husband out for a walk. They had Covid 4 months ago and he still can’t taste or smell and she still looks a bit wan to me (that could be endless winter of course). He’s English and his elderly father in Sheffield is due to get his second jab next week so relief all round (and a certain amount of envy at the efficiency of the British system but, really, a good British vaccination system is very good for us too).

I had my Sunday bookclub which wasn’t bad but the novelty of online bookclub has really worn off.

When I got off the call, I found Michael in the garden reading his book. He was outraged when I informed him that while this met part a of my demands (fresh air), it failed to meet the threshold for part b (and exercise). He and Dan played some basketball but it’s fair to say he was pretty unenthused.

We gave away the boys’ old bikes via the street whatsapp group. I cannot tell you how nice it was to see children from the road cycling off on them. I am delighted with the space in the garage as well. Still no one wants the complete sets of pristine Junior Cert Irish language text books and past papers in the shed awaiting a forever home. Alas.

We finished up our week of adventure with a zoom call with the relatives. The Londoners actually have real news, they’re moving house in March and my sister-in-law’s new novel is nearly finished. Busy lives. My sister-in-law in Dublin had us all in stitches describing how my nephew’s online mock exams for the Junior Cert nearly killed them all. It was the combination of the technological challenges and the descriptions of the hopping parents’ whatsapp group that made it all worthwhile.

An email has just arrived from the school saying that they they look forward to welcoming the sixth years back in the morning. It adds, ominously, that assembly will be held in the new outdoor classroom and the children are advised to wear coats.

And how was your own latest lockdown week? Any news?

A Further Week in February

21 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, February 15, 2021

I bought daffodils at the weekend and Daniel asked, “Are they supposed to look like asparagus?” Oh child of little faith.

I listened to a podcast about Amazon’s resistance to unionisation and felt smug. I haven’t bought anything from Amazon for a number of years. Herself made us boycott it because of their unsatisfactory labour practices. Although I do miss the convenience of one click a bit (I can’t lie), I am sustained by my inner smugness and the knowledge that I am making a conscious effort to buy from Irish shops gives me an additional smug glow.

I forgot to bring my wallet to work and I didn’t even need it. Everything I might need seems to be on my phone. This is a bit unnerving but handy, I must confess.

My friend in Vermont sent me pictures of herself and her sons skiing (at my request) and it filled me with joy. And the sun shone which was great but it would be even better if it hadn’t rained all weekend.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021 – Pancake Tuesday

My sister sent us up a package. Great excitement. It contained, inter alia the â‚¬90 jumper which I had bought my father for Christmas and sent to her for safekeeping. Unnecessary in the event. I gave it to Michael as he was the only one of the menfolk it would fit and while I wouldn’t necessarily have spent â‚¬90 on a cashmere jumper for Michael, he does look very nice in it and has worn it voluntarily of his own accord. I am sure that my father would have been pleased.

The weather was positively springlike. There were exciting Gategate developments. The gates were installed and I was given a fob. Meanwhile in the whatsapp group a message appeared from one of the opponents asking ominously, but perhaps not unreasonably:

Hi all – I noticied that two sets of lane gates have been installed (one set seems permanently shut). What news about key fobs/pin code/cost and payment?

Everyone in the whatsapp group ignored this message.

We had pancakes after dinner.

Wednesday, February 17, 2020 – Ash Wednesday

The weather was beautiful again. The bishops told us to burn last year’s palm to make ashes but appear to have forgotten that getting to mass/getting palm last year was a bit problematic. We went ash free but I did notice some colleagues with ashes on zoom calls during the day; clearly they had access to some kind of underground supply (insert your own jokes here).

Follow-up message from ignored neighbour re Gategate arrived:

Henry Kissinger once asked: “Who do I call if I want to call Europe?” I might ask similar of access to the lane for say garden maintenance/delivery person etc. ….Access should not be arbitrarily decided.

The group admin (who I suspect really regrets setting up this group now) suggested that irate neighbour contact another neighbour to which he replied:

The problem is that we are not sure about anything concerning the lane gates. It must be asked “Why so?”

The brilliant though perhaps headstrong and impetuous neighbour who installed the gates himself and intends to collect money afterwards replied at length to which irate neighbour replied:

At long last! When can we expect fobs and code for the closed gate? We should not have to seek you out.

This caused the rest of us, craven but grateful, to pile in and say how pleased we were with the gates and how it had been perfectly obvious that they were being installed over the previous month. Irate neighbour replied that while the gates were good (!) he had been left out and

Bush Telegraph is just not good enough in this day and age.

Anyway, the upshot is a new whatsapp group for the lane. I dread to think what the reaction will be when irate neighbour discovers that the new gates are going to cost each household money. Meanwhile I’ve been sailing in and out on my bike, clicking away on my fob. The lane is delightfully clean.

Patrick Kavanagh’s poem Epic springs to mind.

I have lived in important places, times
When great events were decided; who owned
That half a rood of rock, a no-manâ€™s land
Surrounded by our pitchfork-armed claims.
I heard the Duffys shouting â€˜Damn your soul!â€™
And old McCabe stripped to the waist, seen
Step the plot defying blue cast-steel â€“
â€˜Here is the march along these iron stonesâ€™
That was the year of the Munich bother. Which
Was more important? I inclined
To lose my faith in Ballyrush and Gortin
Till Homerâ€™s ghost came whispering to my mind.
He said: I made the Iliad from such
A local row. Gods make their own importance.

In other whatsapp news, my firstborn child is definitely well ahead of me in matters literary. I had the following exchange after listening to a podcast.

I was in touch with her as it was, yet another, critical week for news in relation to Leaving Cert 2021. The solution which may yet founder is quite good she thinks with a combination of teacher grades and exam grades and you get whichever is better.

The Junior Cert has been cancelled and I asked my sister-in-law how my nephew was taking the news. Apparently he has told her that every day between now and the end of next year is Friday afternoon, so he is pleased, I think.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Another beautiful day. Herself thought she might try reading Dante’s Inferno. She was trying to find an online translation and came across a link to a site which said, “Dante’s Inferno, Best Available Tactics, 9 hours”. She had never heard of reading tactics before and she was curious so she clicked through. Apparently Dante’s Inferno is a video game as well. Who knew? Anyway, it turns out that the Inferno consists of 8 books of 400 pages each so she’s lost interest a bit. It looks like a lot more than 9 hours even with best available tactics.

I was going to give up instagram for Lent but herself said that she would put a limit on my phone so I couldn’t use it after 6. I’m delighted. I’ve given up biscuits again instead.

Mr. Waffle has bought a new bike and hasn’t yet disposed of the old one. The shed now looks like this. We have 8 bikes for the five of us and I’m thinking of getting a new bike myself. Is this wise?

Friday, February 19, 2021

Having just completed quite a bit of paperwork to stick with Ulster Bank for our mortgage, I wasn’t entirely delighted to hear that they are pulling out of the Irish market. “How can they?” said herself, “Is there an Ulster somewhere else?”

Having been beautiful all week, the weather turned and it started to rain.

Saturday, February 20, 2021

The weather was shocking. I managed to put my neck out while swinging my now irritatingly long (last cut December 2019) hair out of my face. An idiotic injury. Two of the kids on the road got surrounded by a rough bunch of teenagers in the local park and had to leg it home to safety. Not a particular cheering day. My neck basically wedged stuck during cinema night (“Little Women” not bad but not universally popular) and I went hunchbacked to bed.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

We woke up to sunny weather. What a delight. Mr. Waffle and I went for a really lovely long cycle in the park. Although my neck was still really sore from my hair flicking injury, it seemed that the angle for cycling and resting my weight on my hands worked really well. I went for a brief walk with herself in the afternoon and the boys and I watched “The Fellowship of the Ring” which we had all seen before but enjoyed very much. In short a much better Sunday than Saturday. Alas, my neck is still a bit sore – you should know that I am writing this with my chin pointing at my knees which is sub optimal. If I’m not better in the morning, I suppose it’s the physio for me. Alas.