Mr. Waffle

More of It

3 November, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Saintly Daniel cut the grass in the back garden for what, I assume, is the last time this year. The weather is so peculiar.

The in-laws came to stay before heading back to England. Mr. Waffle went out to Tuesday night soccer where he managed to inadvertently hit a fellow player in the face with a ball. The other player went off to get an x-ray. Mr. Waffle arrived home a bit shaken.

Poor Dan was cycling back from GAA and fell off his bike on the grass slope by the side of the pitch. He suffered no injury except to his dignity but, as he pointed out, this was considerable, as he was encased in high vis gear from top to toe and visible probably from space and certainly from all over the pitch.

Separately, this pheasant turned up in my brother’s back garden in Cork city.

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

My little London niece was in great form over breakfast and I thought that she’s only got used to us and now she’s off but I trust we will see more of her from now on.

In response to Mr Waffle’s anxious enquiry, his colleague messaged him, that, yes, indeed, his jaw was dislocated but added in a Christian spirit which we can only hope to emulate, that Mr. Waffle should not worry and “it was a good clearance”.

Herself got a lovely care package from her London aunt and was very pleased.

At lunch time, I saw the guards had a road closed and I asked why. “VIP,” said the guard laconically. “Anyone interesting?” I asked. “Some Germans,” said she. Turned out it was the German president. You can’t impress a guard.

Thursday, October 28, 2021

I had a lovely long chat with herself at lunch time. She was procrastinating and I took full advantage of her desire not to get back to her essay. She seems to be having a fantastic time.

I knew I would be stuck late at work as the following day I was off and so it proved but I made it home eventually.

Daniel promptly departed in the dark on his bike for training at 8.15. I’m not sure that I am able for the wait until 9.30 when he gets back. I am absolutely terrified that he will be taken out by a careless driver.

So, why, you might ask, was I taking Friday off work? To go to Holland to a 50th birthday party, like the before times. Stay tuned for details of our exciting Dutch trip.

Continuing Our Ongoing Diary Entries

2 November, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle

Wednesday October 20, 2021

It lashed rain. Despite my elaborate rain gear, the wind drove the rain up the arms of my coat leading to damp cuffs. Alas. There is no better way to get wet than on a bicycle.

Thursday, October 21, 2021

My sister-in-law and her husband and daughter arrive from England. Who would have thought that when they moved back to London in October 2019, it would be two full years before they came back to Ireland? I was pretty excited to see my now four year old niece in the flesh as opposed to on Skype.

Friday, October 22, 2021

The school sent a message notifying us that we need to avoid jelly cannabis. I have so many questions. The boys dressed up for Halloween and went into school as Mr. Potato Head and a man in black. I like the potato peeler which doubles as a memory eraser but you can understand why Mr. Potato Head looks nervous.

The in-laws came around. The absolute thrill. I was so pleased to see them. It made me a bit sad that they had been away for so long. We took in an exciting trip to the local playground. All go. My brother-in-law, surveying the range of outfits, asked whether Irish children always dressed up for Halloween on the last day before the mid-term break. “They do,” I confirmed, “do they not in England?” Apparently not. “It’s racism awareness fortnight,” he offered but it’s really not the same.

I had another dental appointment to deal with the bit that fell off my tooth. I am sick of the dentist and he may well be sick of me.

The boys and I watched a quite complicated but rather delightful Studio Ghibli film on Netflix. Thomas, their favourite childminder made them watch loads of Studio Ghibli films as he said that they were an indispensable part of childhood. He was a great childminder.

Mr. Waffle had tickets to the football league of Ireland semi-final but Dan didn’t feel like going and although I offered to go in his stead, Mr. Waffle said no one would believe that I was an under 18 season ticket holder. Alas. On many levels.

We were supposed to more or less be going back to normal post-October 22 but the Covid figures are on the up so no return to normal just yet.

Saturday, October 23, 2021

It was my father-in-law’s anniversary. I’m sure he would have been delighted to see his three children and their spouses and children gathered together. Probably would not have been delighted that his eldest son had come down with some kind of vomiting bug. Poor Mr. Waffle, he sat hunched miserably in the corner of the room like a ghost at the feast.

Sunday October 24, 2021

Dan had his last match with his current GAA team. They have been together since they were 6** so he was pretty sad. Still, minor play beckons (the next level up).

In the afternoon we headed to Mount Usher where we met the cousins and attempted to recreate the photo we took the last time we were there two years ago. Sadly herself wasn’t there being off in England but otherwise, I was quite pleased with the recreation of the picture. It is not easy being archivist in chief; for one thing your children tend to mercilessly mock you.

As Monday was the bank holiday, we all stayed overnight in a local hotel. The four teenagers had dinner before the adults and they sat and ordered together. I am very pleased that the cousins know each other so well. Cousins are a bit different from friends, it’s much easier to chat with them even if you haven’t seen each other for weeks and there is a shared understanding of family which makes it more relaxing to be together, I think. My niece has turned into an extraordinarily pretty teenager and I said as much to the boys to which Daniel replied, “Maybe that’s how you roll in Cork but I can’t say, I’d noticed.” On balance, a good thing, I suppose though, naturally I resent the anti-Cork slur.

Monday October 25, 2021

Daniel had arranged to meet a friend in town at lunch time so we went back to Dublin quite promptly. “Any idea what you and your friend are going to be doing in town?” I asked. “Yes,” said he. Mysterious. Anyhow he seems to have had a good time and stayed away from the cannabis jelly. Michael rather revelled at being the only child in the car once we had dropped off his brother.

I went into Dunnes Stores with a coat I had bought for Dan which proved to be faulty (problem with a seam, since you ask). I had no receipt but I stood my ground politely but firmly and (for the first time ever) asked to see a manager who confirmed that yes it was faulty and they would exchange it or refund me the cost. I emerged dizzy with relief and excitement. Middle aged achievement level unlocked.

I had a distinctly Sunday night feeling on Monday whereas the lucky children were just beginning their mid-term and, while sympathetic, could not really enter into my feelings.

Stay tuned all month for more fascinating content of a very similar nature.

**Updated to add, Mr. Waffle says since he was 3 but that surely can’t be right. You would think with my complete blog and photographic archive I might be able to find out but no, look, certainly since he was very young.

Since You’ve Been Gone

20 October, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Travel, Work

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Life meanders on notwithstanding the absence of herself. A man comes with a power hose and cleans the concrete in the garden. All the men folk hate it but I am delighted. A locksmith comes to fix the shed door and our new cleaner starts. It’s all go.

I have to go to Killarney for work – my first post Covid trip. Here’s a thing I didn’t know when I got on the train for a four hour journey at 11 in the morning: the trains no longer serve food. Unsatisfactory.

Thursday, October 7, 2021

It lashes rain for the duration of my trip to Killarney but at least I have some food for the train journey home.

I speak to herself. Apparently England is very “spenny”. I beg your pardon? I welcome the opportunity to get to grips with English student slang.

Friday, October 8, 2021

Following my root canal a couple of weeks ago, I get a crown put on a back tooth. This is not a pain free operation, people. By the time I get home, the inside of my mouth feels like a battle ground. I was more delighted than I can say when one of my bottom front teeth chipped at the back later that evening. Seriously, no, no I was not. Back to the dentist for me.

Saturday, October 9, 2021

I cycled 12 kms out to visit my mother’s college friend whose husband died in August. I think she was pleased to see me but she is no-nonsense and a dentist and she told me to stop feeling my tooth with my tongue. “I can’t help it,” I said plaintively. “Of course you can,” she said. Ah great to be reminded of what it feels like to be a hapless teenager.

Mr. Waffle the boys and I cycled into town (to say I am the slowest cyclist in the family, kind of understates how much slower I am than everyone else – I felt like an antelope separated from the heard by circling traffic but I got there in the end). We saw the only thing I could get tickets for in theatre festival which was only 20 minutes long which was a source of general delight. The theatre is owned by the father of one of the Princess’s friends and her friend was doing the tickets and her other friend’s mother was doing the lighting. All we were missing was herself. More pizza afterwards.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Book club in real life. It was amazing. I had such a good time. And then cycling home I ran into my friend and her husband on the street. They’ve just moved back from Brussels and it was such a lovely surprise to see them. A very satisfactory Sunday.

Monday, October 11, 2021

Our next door neighbour’s elder child is in art school and she is going to paint a mural on the lane behind our back door. I am v excited. She came in with some sketches. Thrilling.

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

I spoke to herself. She seemed in reasonable form. Then I went home and inadvertently laid the table for dinner for 5. Alas we are only 4.

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

The boys had an assembly for their year in school. As Michael said to me, “Assemblies are never good news.” He said that they were all sitting round performing an examination of conscience while the year head paced up and down talking about their workload and how important it was to study this year. However, it was good news. They had the first two classes off and the school brought them in breakfast for world mental health day. More of this.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Herself rang to say that we couldn’t blame her more than she blamed herself but that she had lost her passport in the pub the previous night.

Question for the audience: why is the Irish consulate on Cromwell Road? Does that strike you as a great address in all the circumstances? Before any firm moves were made to resolve the logistical nightmare, some kind humanitarian put up a post on the student facebook page saying that he had found it. Who knew students even used facebook? She doesn’t but her friend texted her.

She has to get some form of ID that is not her passport. I can’t face this again.

I was talking to my brother about Cromwell Road and mentioned perfidious Albion to which he said, “What does that mean, picky, over fussy and neat like you are, you sure you’ve got that phrase right?” “Perfidious, not fastidious,” I said tartly.

Friday, October 15, 2021

Mr. Waffle and Dan went out to watch the local football team in action (another draw, thanks for asking). We’ve all got very used to going out now, strange how quickly things have reverted to normal. Michael and I stayed in and watched “Blinded by the Light” which we both really enjoyed and there was no one to get annoyed with us for singing along.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Very peaceful day in which nothing much happened. Hugely enjoyable.

Daniel had a hurling match he lost by a point but he seemed philosophical.

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Mr. Waffle and I went out for a cycle and visited his mother. We abandoned our poor sons to their homework. One of the big compensations of being a grown-up is having no homework, frankly.

Monday, October 18, 2021

It was 19 degrees today. 19 degrees in October. I was melting in my opaque tights. On the way home I cycled into a wand separating my cycle lane from general traffic. No injury you will be pleased to hear, other than to my dignity, naturally.

Daniel had GAA conditioning training out by the airport which, as he said, is convenient for no one. Mr. Waffle dropped him out and I collected him. It’s moving to the club next week. Thank God. I thought we’d be driving him out to the airport two nights a week in perpetuity. The GAA training is super intense: conditioning two nights a week; training two nights a week and at least one match every weekend. I have no idea how children who want to play more than one sport manage.

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

The principal sent out an email to parents and students about the dangers of “Squid Game”. Too late for us, we watched three episodes but we tired of it. The principal says, “It is the strong belief of many psychologists that the message and culture in this series is not good for anyone and that it is extremely dangerous for young people.” I’d say anyone who wasn’t watching has started now.

We had a great long conversation with herself. All is well in foreign lands.

Great sunset today.

She’s Leaving Home

17 October, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Travel

Monday, September 27, 2021

Daniel and Michael are 16. This growing up is very speedy for parents at least. Full birthday posts to follow. Something to look forward to.

Herself had some friends from primary school around. Two girls I have known since they were five years old and they are now both (v tall) young women in college. Surprising.

Billa O’Connell died and everyone on my sister’s road stood out to watch the hearse go be. Ah the pantomimes of my youth. One of my colleagues reminded me of a line of his, “Are you happily married or living in Kinsale?” Even in the 60s, Kinsale was known for its cosmopolitan ways.

This would have been my parents’ 54th wedding anniversary.

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Our cleaner is moving back to the Ukraine after many years living in Ireland. Good for her. Bad for us. She is going to find us a replacement. Fingers crossed.

Mr. Waffle’s Tuesday night soccer is back. He’s delighted. I retired to bed early with a headache, like the Victorian matron I am at heart.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

I am delighted with the woman I have found to do French conversation with the boys: she lives around the corner and she’s happy to play board games with them and they seem to like her. She’s studying in Ireland for a year. When we first met her, she was wearing make up but not when she turned up this evening. She looked so young that for a moment I thought she was one of their school friends. I suppose she’s not that much older than them. Middle age is not so much creeping up on me as mugging me and dragging me down a blind alley.

Thursday, September 30, 2021

The light bulb in the downstairs bathroom needed to be changed and Mr. Waffle found a pool of stagnant water in the bottom of the bulb container. We assume it dates from the works in the upstairs bathroom and, happily, no one was electrocuted. I will keep you posted on developments.

I was talking to my sister about my trip to the England the following day and confessed to a feeling of mild trepidation. Conversation as follows.

Me: It’s been two years since I was on a plane. When were you last abroad?

Her: Long pause.

Me: Well?

Her: Actually, I was in Holland a couple of weeks ago.

Me: What??

Her: Well, I wanted to keep it a secret because I knew if our brother Dan heard he would ask 200 million questions and I couldn’t face it. You actually called me while I was there and, remember, I said that I couldn’t talk.

Me: Not really. This is very weird.

Her: And in vain because Dan rang while I was there and the first thing he said was “Are you abroad, that’s a foreign ring tone, why are you abroad?”

Me: Honestly, it’s hard to know which of you is weirder.

My brother, Sherlock Phones as he’s known in the family circle. Anyway, she said no one is wearing masks in Holland.

It was the Princess’s last night at home and I was quite sad. She, however, was energised by her ongoing effort to deal with the IT problems she was encountering with her college administration.

Friday, October 1, 2021

Another generation off to England. Oh alas. Still herself is delighted and very excited. We agonised about whether to get the ferry or fly but in view of the petrol shortages in England, flying was probably the better option.

Herself has a loads of euros which she suggests we might change at a more advantageous rate than the bank. As she put it, “Using the Bank of Mum and Dad for actual banking.” The airport was quiet but not impossibly so and everything went pretty smoothly. Herself dropped an ear pod as we were landing and, as is the way of such things, it promptly rolled up the plane and she was in agonies lest someone inadvertently stand on it. Not only did I have to disturb the people in front to get it but they had to go to the people in front of them in turn and so on until it was safely returned.

I remember when herself was three months old I went to a friend’s wedding. Herself was a bit sick and our teenage babysitter procured by the hotel abandoned her post in face of the incessant wailing. Mr. Waffle went to tend to her. When the bride asked where he was, I explained. She promptly dispatched her mother, a GP, to inspect the baby. Her mother came and brought a friend who was a pediatrician. I was mortified that she should be pulled away for work at her daughter’s wedding. As the two women examined my baby (she was grand, thanks for asking, the mother of the bride made me drop by her house in the morning for a further look and herself lay in my arms looking like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth), I said, “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.” And the mother of the bride smiled and said, “Well, you’d better get used to that feeling now that you have children because this won’t be the worst of it” How very right she was.

We had some difficulty finding somewhere to stay for the weekend but we eventually found a guest house which was a bit grim but clean. I said to Mr. Waffle, “I don’t remember the last time we’ve stayed somewhere quite so vile.” And he said, “Aren’t we very lucky that this is the case.” Which I suppose is true, Pollyanna.

We brought lots of stuff over in suitcases but we had to buy lots of supplies when we got there: the disadvantage of not having the car. Single duvets were at a premium, I can tell you. A sister of a friend saw us in Marks and Spencer’s (because if you’re Irish, there’s always someone who’ll see you, I am genuinely curious as to how Irish people have affairs) but left us alone as we looked a bit stressed. Still we achieved much on our first day and went to dinner in a Lebanese restaurant to celebrate. Herself is delighted by the range of vegetarian food available in England.

I found the mask thing a bit the opposite of the situation in Ireland. In Ireland, the default is that you wear a mask in shops and public places and the very odd person might not. In England, it seemed like the default was no mask but some people were still wearing them. I felt a bit odd with my Irish mask wearing habits.

Saturday, October 2, 2021

We indulged in an orgy of spending including a new bike for herself. This makes poor old Michael the only family member who hasn’t got a new bike in the last 12 months. Here’s a picture of Daniel’s recently acquired bike which makes him very speedy. He was already much speedier than me, so I wonder how absolutely necessary it was.

I digress. In England, it lashed rain on us but we broadly achieved our objectives and it was a tired but happy gang that went to dinner that night.

Herself said dolefully, “I’m about to start Freshers’ Week but I am exhausted by 9, how will this work?” How indeed?

Meanwhile her brothers had been living it up with their aunt in Dublin. A trip out for pizza and a plan to spend the following day playing cards with her partner in his saintly parents’ house.

Sunday, October 3, 2021

We dropped herself and her pile of bedclothes and other essentials off to her on campus accommodation which, in fairness, is very nice and went for a walk which was delightful.

On our walk we met a Belgian film crew and Mr. Waffle gave them an interview (they were pretty pleased to find anyone who could speak French). Yes really. We checked the RTL website afterwards but, alas, his content appears to have been consigned to the cutting room floor.

Then we had lunch with herself and headed off back to the airport (nearly missed our luxurious – ahem – bus but did not). Mr. Waffle said that it was like the reverse of when we took her home from Edith Cavell, the maternity hospital in Brussels. We went in and there were two of us and we came out as three. This time we went over as three but only two of us came home.

Monday, October 4, 2021

It’s pretty hard when your child moves country at 18. I felt like I had a hole where my heart should be which is a weird physical sensation. When I got home, Mr. Waffle had bought me flowers to cheer me up. They were somewhat effective.

One of my friends messaged me to say that she had attended the school open night for new students via zoom and that the Princess was on it as a past pupil talking about her experience in the school. This was news to me. The fact that I found out about it immediately the session had ended further underlines the futility of trying to keep anything secret in this country.

Tuesday, October 7, 2021

I spoke to herself on the phone. She seems to be having a good time. She has found people who also like to read hard books. “Mum,” said she, “everyone here has read Beowulf and Ulysses.” Isn’t well for them? She seemed pleased anyway. I discovered in the post office that you can send a 20kg box to England for a mere â‚¬25. I was delighted. I asked the woman in the post office whether there was any limitation on the size of the parcel. “Let me put it this way,” said she, “someone posted a mattress yesterday.”

Just Another Day for You and Me in Paradise*

19 September, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Cork, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday, September 13, 2021

So I booked myself a Covid test online even though I am double vaccinated. I was unnerved by my colleague (also double vaccinated) and his wife (ditto) getting sick. In fairness, to the HSE, it’s really easy to do. I’ve had to give far more data booking a restaurant.

Parents’ council is back. I tried very hard to step down from my role as treasurer at this meeting but failed.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

I had my Covid test. The whole thing was stupendously efficient. I was in and out in 5 minutes. “Have you had one before?” asked the man with the cotton bud on a long stick. â€œNo,” I said. “You’ve done well,” he said. I was slightly dreading it but after 18 months of constantly swabbing, they seem to have really refined the technique. It was a little ticklish but very fast and not painful.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

We had salmon for dinner and I rescued my hollandaise from the freezer. It thawed beautifully. I was delighted with myself. I thought it might be nice if it was a bit warmer and plunged my plastic bowl of hollandaise into a pot boiling water because I am an idiot. Of course, it instantly split but I shoved in an ice cube and started beating frantically and it came back together. I felt like a cordon bleu genius. It was a bit cool mind when we put it on the fish but I’m definitely still counting this as a win.

Also my Covid test came back negative and I felt like a bit foolish for going at all. But still, nice to be reassured.

I drove herself out to a party. We passed a neighbour’s house dense in foliage. “Their creeper is out of control,” I said. “It’s more like a stalker at this point,” said herself. She’s hilarious. How will I manage when she is off in godless England? She pointed out that Ireland is pretty godless as well at this stage. Not the point.

Thursday, September 16, 2021

I have to say that work continues to be demanding. I am exhausted from it. I arrived home to a surprise from Mr. Waffle who had been in a bookshop and picked me up two books as a present in view of my general exhaustion. God, I was thrilled. Is there anything better than an unexpected present?

Friday, September 17, 2021

It was lashing. I regretted my choice of an outdoor play for our evening’s entertainment. It was culture night and we booked ourselves into Milano’s for a festive start to the evening. Daniel hurt his shoulder so instead of cycling in as we would normally do, we took the car. There must be some kind of mathematical relationship between how smug a cyclist you are and how awful things will be when you drive, because it took us 40 traffic choked minutes to get into town and find parking. Herself who was travelling under her own steam took 10 minutes to cycle in.

On the plus side, the weather cleared up. We could only book in pods of four for the play. I offered not to go but that was unnecessary as there was an unseemly clamour among the children to be the one who would not go to the play. Herself won.

It was in the grounds of Dublin Castle. The Castle was busy for culture night and, as always, it was nice to be herded off into a blocked off area where something exciting was happening.

There were picnic tables for each pod to sit at and it worked quite well. We had to keep our masks on for the duration which seemed a bit excessive as we were outdoors. I was very relieved that there were seats though as I had been worried we might have to stand. The setting was lovely.

Someone started waving from a table behind us. It was the woman who did French language conversation with the children (alas, she is leaving us this year). Then someone called my name from the table directly behind us – it was some friends from book club. We did more in person socialising before the start of the performance than we have done in 18 months. Thrilled.

The play itself was fine. It was a musical, heavy on folk music. Michael actively liked it and, as ever, indifferent to the views of others, leapt up at the end and gave a standing ovation. Michael loves a standing ovation. It was good to be out. I am going to chalk it up as one of my successes.

On our way back to the car, we passed by Christchurch. I said to the boys, “What church is that?” “We know, we know,” said Michael, “Christchurch where they keep Fintan O’Toole’s heart.” Look, close enough.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Herself has gone to Cork to say farewell to the Cork relatives before emigrating. My sister bought her new boots in Cork. I cannot speak about the outrageous expense of this. Knee high boots from Carl Scarpa bought at full price in September. What an excellent aunt.

I made more apple jelly and stuck the posters I got at the Fringe festival on my jam jars. I mean, what else am I to do with them? I now have trendy preserves. I have to confess that it’s a bit unlikely my jar of plum jam actually could be an art space but I am spreading the message.

I stuck up posters around the place looking for a new person to do French conversation with the boys. I felt very old, sticking up posters rather than going online. We will see what comes of it.

I, very cravenly, resigned from the parents’ council treasurer role by texting the group chat. I think I have achieved escape velocity.

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Mr. Waffle and I cycled to Chapelizod, then we went and looked at the art in the Irish Museum of Modern Art. I’m not sure I am able for it. It’s been open 30 years and they had a poster on the wall showing all their exhibitions from 1991. The only one I can remember is this one. The little man bangs his head on the bell at one point and it made a very memorable ding. Of the rest, alas, absolutely no memory remains.

I quite liked some slightly weird portraits by an artist called Alice Maher but doubtless I will forget all about them like everything else I have ever seen there.

We went for a restorative cup of tea afterwards.

Meanwhile herself went to Dungarvan with her uncle where they were due to cycle 70kms. I await hearing about developments. Last update was at 4.30 when her uncle said, “Finally stopped for lunch after two punctures and numerous setbacks. Turns out herself isn’t that keen on 4.30 lunch either Anne [I refer you to my last lunch date with my brother], must run in the family, that plus being continually exhorted to admire the views of the UNESCO geothermal copper coast has resulted in the a less than happy [girl] but she has been stoic.”

Not sure how much of their 70kms they achieved but at least she’s fed.

And that’s it for another exciting week.

At this point I am still trying to put off the work I brought home and did not do all weekend. I also have to do the parents’ council accounts before the AGM tomorrow night when (be still my beating heart) I will step down from the role. Oh Sunday night delights.

*Will Phil Collins ever become fashionable do you think? Will the young people some day love him unironically like they do Dolly Parton?

Updated to add: they did 68kms of their 70. Not bad!

Re-entry

13 September, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Work

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

I went to the GP about my heel. She confirmed my internet researches. I have plantar fasciitis which is a condition common to runners and fat middle aged people. Alas. The GP said to me that I’d never be able to run again. Startled, I said, “Never? Will I not be able to play tennis?” “Ah, no, I meant you won’t be able to run marathons.” That’s ok then.

Anyway, it seems that loads of people have it – friends, colleagues all sorts of people. Maybe I wasn’t listening when they complained. I went out to a specialist running shop and bought the vilest pair of runners which I now wear all the time. Sigh. Apparently it will get better eventually.

Mr. Waffle had to work. I took the boys to visit the state apartments in Dublin Castle, the Chester Beatty museum and the sandcastle exhibition in the castle yard. God love them, they put up with a lot.

My sister called me to tell me that the husband of my mother’s best friend from college had died. He hadn’t been well but it was still a shock.

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

My first day back in the office after the holidays. Very painful but I survived. Two colleagues described how their holidays had been ruined by Covid. The more impressive example had each of his four children come down with it in turn keeping him housebound sorting his books for the fortnight instead of going to Donegal. In fairness, we were lucky.

Saintly Daniel made dinner.

Thursday, August 26, 2021

I went to the funeral of my mother’s friend’s husband. It was the first funeral I had been to since my father’s (in Ireland funeral going is a pretty constant duty so it was unusual not to have been to one in so long but Covid rules forbade). The deceased was a dentist, his wife was a dentist and both the priest’s parents were dentists so it was a funeral heavy in dental content.

Herself and her friend went for a night cycle in the park; what will they think of next etc.? I was a bit nervous and sent Mr. Waffle to accompany her to the gates of the park and then later home again. She had a great time but Mr. Waffle was less keen on the whole concept as he sat outside the park gates awaiting her return.

Friday, August 27, 2021

It was so warm I decided we would have a barbecue for dinner. By the time dinner rolled around it was freezing. I refer you to this article from the Irish Times on dressing for dining outside. I don’t think it was a joke.

Saturday, August 28, 2021

My sister was in Dublin for the weekend and came to us for lunch which we were able to have outside. It’s the nights catch you unaware, you’re generally safe enough for lunch. My children write thank you cards because I make them and I am hoping that they will continue to do so forever but it’s a bit of an uphill battle. They stayed in my sister’s partner’s parents’ house on Bere Island over the summer and wrote a thank you card (in Irish, the parents are Irish speakers). My sister gave great feedback. The mother is a poet and she was analysing the boys’ text – it’s like a mirror; different accounts from the right and the left hand. Honestly, this the kind of feedback, I need to justify the effort (my brother is always undermining me with unhelpful comments like “just send a text”).

We went on a boat trip in the afternoon and then a BBQ in the cousins’ house. Definitely packing everything in to the last weekend of summer. The boys were a bit like condemned men in advance of the return to school on Monday.

Sunday, August 29, 2021

My sister and I went to visit the dental widow. We had a surprisingly good time (given that her husband had just died) and the three of us are going to go on a trip to north Cork in the new year. Excitement.

It was the mother of all Sunday nights. I reintroduced logistics Sunday (we say what’s on for the week ahead, it’s complicated, we have a lot on). Herself caused considerable ire at the dinner table by saying blithely, “Oh is tomorrow Monday?”. She is enjoying her extended summer, thanks for asking.

Monday, August 30, 2021

I had lunch with a friend. I welcome the return of the lunch circuit. As she recoiled in horror at my hideous runners she said that she too had had plantar fasciitis. It’s everywhere, lads.

Herself went off to Dun Laoghaire to dine in Wetherspoon’s with her friends. The horror.

The boys found the first day back grand and, at least, the ice is broken.

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

My boss returned from his holidays. Sadly. Lunch out with a friend again. Mild thrills. Herself disappeared off to a distant suburb for a dinner party. I was supposed to collect her but couldn’t get hold of her. As I was sitting there worrying that she had been abducted/murdered etc. she called to stay that she was going to stay over at her friend’s house. She’s making up for lost time on the socialising front.

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

I was delighted to see herself for the first time in days. I suppose this is how it is now.

Thursday, September 2, 2021

I took the boys to get their first shot. The whole thing was a model of efficiency. They missed school too. They were delighted. And the woman who gave them the vaccine was from Cork; went to the same school as my aunt. Another exile in Dublin.

Friday, September 3, 2021

The boys experienced no side effects from the vaccine other than slightly sore arms. As covered elsewhere, herself got her Leaving Cert results and, in fairness to her, they were stellar.

We were notified by the school of the first Covid cases of the year in both students and staff; we’re not quite back to normal yet. We’ve another road map anyhow.

I had my root canal. Not as bad as it might have been.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

We took herself out for an early dinner in a nice restaurant to celebrate her Leaving results. It was booked in June so, honestly, it could have been a gloomier party than it was. The boys had pizza at home which I felt a bit bad about but they were not going to appreciate a set menu at â‚¬80 a head.

We got home quite early and I made everyone watch this French film which was supposed to be a comedy. I got free access to it from the Cork French film festival and I was determined to get value. It was quite dire. Herself and Daniel drifted off to bed in despair. Michael stayed to the end. He felt it had some interesting themes about the value of philosophy to politics. It was a film which could only have been made in France. May I say that the description makes it sound much better than it actually is.

Sunday, September 5, 2021

A day of homework for the boys. Herself went out with friends and Mr. Waffle and I went into town. All of us were slightly gloomy at the prospect of the week ahead except for herself who is having the time of her life. This is wearing on the rest of us on a Sunday night.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Work is a bit wearing at the moment. I am making lots of apple jelly. What will I do with it all?

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Work horrors.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Further work horrors. And, worse, yet another meeting of the baptism preparation group at 7.30 in the evening – I went straight from work to this excitement. Our parish priest is driving me crazy. “Would it be handier,” he mused, “to have baptisms on Saturday afternoons?” Not to any of the group of (women, of course) who are sitting around the table. Even the mildest and saintliest of us (not me) remonstrated slightly saying, “Well father, if we’re hoping that they will continue to go to Sunday mass after the baptism, it’s not a great sign if they can’t even make the baptism on a Sunday.” He conceded the point. I would love to bail out but I feel that I can’t as it will just be more work for the others. Sigh.

Herself has been pushing to cycle alone in the city at night. Usually I collect her from things after dark and put her bike in the boot. But I suppose, she is 18 and about to move country and I had better resign myself to the inevitable. Honestly, I might as well have collected her as I sat up worrying until she came in anyhow.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Work horrors continue unabated. We receive an email from the principal announcing that “Henceforth we will be a nut free school.” We are now looking for popcorn (a key part of Michael’s diet) made in a factory which does not contain nuts.

Herself disappears off to a party.

Friday, September 10, 2021

Work horrors slightly diminish but do not recede entirely. I end up working all Friday afternoon which is annoying when I am only paid to work 4.5 days a week. But yet, if I give it up, I will never get it back.

I went to the physio at lunch time. He prodded, he poked, he made me stand in weird ways. He said, “I don’t think you have plantar fasciitis.” He didn’t know what I had either though. He advised me to get heel gel pads and said to come back in a month if it wasn’t better. I feel a bit of a fraud but a slightly relieved fraud.

Mr. Waffle asked whether I planned to throw out the dead flowers. Did he mean the hydrangeas which I had dried and with which I was delighted? He did.

Saturday, September 11, 2021

I saw herself in daylight for the first time in days. We spent a long and painful session trying to decide how to bring her to England for college (boat and car, plane and train, plane and hire car?) and who will go with her (alone; one parent; two parents?). In the end we decided that both her parents would accompany her (her aunt kindly agreed to come up from Cork to mind her brothers) and we would fly and train. I have spent the time since reviewing that decision and I believe it is probably incorrect but I can’t face re-booking. Accommodation in a university town at the start of term is a nightmare and, of course, once we get there, I very much look forward to spending a day shopping for duvets, bedding and crockery. Furthermore, the university authorities have annoyed us all by emailing herself “As you are from within the UK…” I’d say there will be a certain amount of that over the coming years.

Mr. Waffle and I went out to breakfast. We met a neighbour who is making a film about the locality; would have thought it was a bit niche to be honest but he has funding and I, for one, will be very interested. As we were walking on the main road, an elderly lady called out to us, summoning us imperiously to her doorstep. “I need you to help me down the step,” she said. We did. “Now, I need you to walk me to the post office.” We did even though it was quite a bit out of our way but she had a firm grip on my arm and she wasn’t letting go. I thought we were going to have to wait for her outside the post office but she summarily dismissed us at the door and we scuttled off.

We met a mother we knew from the children’s primary school in the coffee shop. She was just out from eight (yes eight!) days in hospital. She had deep vein thrombosis and I think it nearly killed her. She was still black and blue all over and a bit shaken I thought. This reminded me of all the articles I keep reading in the papers about 50-60 being sniper alley and if you can get through that decade ok, you’ll live forever. That said, my father had open heart surgery aged 60 and lived to 95; so not a hard and fast rule.

As we were sitting over our breakfast, pondering mortality and flicking through the paper, Mr. Waffle nodded significantly out the plate glass window. There was our elderly lady perched upon the arm of a new victim who was patiently accompanying her home.

Herself and myself searched the house for her European Health Insurance card so that she could sign up for a GP in the UK. I looked where I felt it would be filed but no joy. Herself said, a bit pointedly, I thought, “So you can find whether I got a smiley face in 2007 through your complete records but my EHIC is missing.” We rang her father. It was in the travel box rather than the health folder. Look, accidents happen in even the best regulated filing systems.

Michael is doing history outside school as timetabling does not permit him to do all the subjects he wants in school. He had his first online class today and pronounced it satisfactory.

She went out to babysit for the film director we met earlier. I walked around the corner to pick her up and continued my chat about the local film he was making. She pinched me twice trying to get me to go home. Again, she is keen to travel alone but even though our house is only 5 minutes away, I didn’t like her coming home in the dark at 12.30. I suppose I will have to get used to this.

It was all-Ireland final day – Mayo v Tyrone. Mayo haven’t won since 1951 and at this stage the whole country is pretty much behind them. Our neighbour across the road is from Mayo. He went all out.

They were the bookies’ favourites but, alas, they lost. The (to be clear, entirely fictitious, I gather) curse lives on.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

It was the day of the street party. It was successful enough considering that it was September and a bit chilly and that Covid regulations meant that everyone had to bring their own food. The children used to love it when they were younger but now they are just too old and sophisticated. People were delighted to hear how herself had got on in the Leaving (yes, everyone is still asking, it is Ireland’s greatest rite of passage) and one of our older neighbours reminded us that he deserved credit for giving her his old desk (I had completely forgotten but he did).

Herself made blackberry financiers from a recipe in the paper. I will miss this service when she leaves. She had two egg yolks left over and I made hollandaise to use them up; I have never previously done this successfully and I was delighted with myself.

One of my colleagues has just texted me that his 4 year old, his 6 year old and he and his wife (both vaccinated) have all tested positive for Covid. We’re not out of the woods yet, are we?