Mr. Waffle

Last weekend Mr. Waffle, Michael and I went out to Dun Laoghaire for lunch. We met Mr. Waffle’s sister and her little girl. The latter very bitter to be fooled into walking the pier after lunch. Her mother asked her “Do you want to walk to the end of the pier or just as far as where it bends around?” My niece knew, at some level, that like generations of children before her she was being had. Michael sympathised. My sister-in-law maintains that she loved walking the pier when she was a child. I’m going to call it: unlikely. Much like her abiding belief that it never rained on family holidays in Kerry when she was a child (a belief which is not shared by her older siblings).

Michael drove us out to Dun Laoghaire. It was pretty painless to be fair to him and I think the time is coming when he will need to take his driving test. There is a 12 week waiting list so he’ll need to do it when he gets back from holidays. He is unenthused. But think of the saving on our insurance bill.

Mr. Waffle and I went to see Twister. Maybe it is doing great box office but it was pretty terrible. After the lights had gone down an elderly person came in alone and sat near me. Mr. Waffle whispered to me – did I know who the person was? I did not. Mr. Waffle identified him as a very senior person in a very serious and important job. I found it quite touching that he was making time in his life for Twister. I hope he enjoyed it more than we did.

Michael has kept the existence of his siblings, if not secret, then certainly not front and centre, in his relationship with his new college friends. Unfortunately evidence of his siblings is available in the house. He was chagrined when he invited over one of his friends who looked at the picture of his older sister on the landing and said, “Is that your sister? I was on a course with her.” Again, the size of Ireland makes it hard to keep a sense of mystery alive.

Herself is in London doing an internship having spent a couple of weeks in Estonia brushing up on her Russian (the obvious location for this activity being currently unavailable). She got back to London late in the evening and I followed her progress with some anxiety, worried that she would miss the last train from Stansted. Funniest message of the evening was her description of running to get her luggage from the carousel: “I sent a group of West Ruislip Scouts scattering like bowling pins.” You will be pleased to hear that she made the train and is now in her aunt, uncle and cousin’s lovely house in the lap of luxury. They are over here and will be staying a couple of days in our house and also, taking our car. I am inordinately pleased that we are all getting value from our available assets.

If all goes according to plan, by the time you read this, I will be on a plane to the Baltics where we will be disporting ourselves for three weeks. When we went to Argentina last year, I spent the day before we went tidying the bookshelves. Herself felt that this was not the most useful way to spend my time at that moment. She said that I am a victim of “stress tidying”; whenever I am worried about something, I start tidying up. Over the last 12 months I have noticed that this is correct. This may be why I have the tidiest office in my building. Never mind, there are certainly worse vices. And the good news is that this trip to the Baltics has not entailed an entire bookshelf re-organisation. Perhaps I am not as stressed as I was before our epic trip to South America. On the other hand, I do remember that the last time we went to the Baltics en famille we missed the plane so perhaps I need to be more stressed?

Speaking of Argentina, some considerable time ago we sent some presents to people we had met in the North of the country which never arrived. We were resigned to the fact that they were lost forever (contents plus not inconsiderable cost of postage – €43 since you’re asking). But would you look what arrived back just before the holidays? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this parcel has been to South America and back. Sigh.